Darkest Hour
by Varinia
Summary: What if Pony had been seriously injured in the fire as well as Johnny? Will the gang be able to cope with it? COMPLETE!
1. Into the Darkness

_**Into the Darkness**_

**Pony's POV**

Johnny and I had gone with Dally to go get a bite to eat after we had been hiding out for a while. We hadn't been driving back down the road long when we saw the church was burning and that a bunch of the kids were still inside. Dally didn't want to stop, but Johnny and I convinced him other wise. We bolted to the church while Dally stood there yelling at us about how stupid we were and that we were going to get ourselves killed. We broke down a few boards to get in and started searchin' for the kids. When we found some we would pass them through the hole in the wall to Dally. I don't know how long we were actually in there, but it seemed like forever. I had been wandering around looking for some more kids, but couldn't seem to find anymore of them. I sure hope we got them all. Johnny and I had split up awhile back hoping to find more kids that way. But even though it wasn't that big of a church, I still had yet to find him again. But everyone knew where Dally was. I could still hear old Dal yelling at us to get the hell out of there. But neither of us were leaving without all of the kids.

"Johnny! Johnny, where are you I can't see ya anywhere the smokes too thick," I shouted out into the darkness.

"Over here Pony! Follow my voice," I heard him shouting.

I finally made my way through the smoke and ash. "Are all the kids out? Did we get them all?"

"Yeah, I think so but lets take another look around."

"Okay but we need to get out of here before it's too late."

"Johnny, Pony get out of there now the roof's gonna blow!" yelled Dally.

But neither of us heard him in time. All of sudden I heard something creaking and a flaming beam came down on top of us. My whole face felt like it was burning. I couldn't see what was happening anymore. All I could hear was people screaming and a bunch of sirens. Then everything went black.

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_This is my first story. So please be nice. If anyone has any suggestions. I'll be glad to consider them. I'll update my story as soon as I can. Don't worry I hate to leave people hanging. Thanks for reading this._


	2. Holding Fast

_**Holding Fast**_

**Dally's POV**

"Oh my God! Johnny! Pony!" I shouted as I saw the roof collapsing.

I started to run into what was left of the burning building. I looked around and all I could see was smoke. The smoke was starting to make my eyes water and my head spin. As I took another step a piece of the roof fell on my arm. Boy did it feel like hell. They've got to be around here somewhere. All of a sudden someone came up behind me and was trying to pull me out of the building.

"Let go of me. My friends are gonna die if you don't let me go." I screamed at the man. The man just kept trying to drag me out of the building. "Johnny! Pony!" I continued to shout.

"It's okay kid. We've got men going in right now to go help your friends. Now lets just get out of here so I can treat your arm. You don't want it to get infected now," said the man. As I looked at him I realized he was one of the fire fighters who had just arrived.

"Where were you when my friends needed you. They shouldn't have been the ones to go in there. It should have been you in there, not them. You didn't help them then, so why should you help them now! They need me. Us greasers stick together and you can't change that!"

"Look kid, I know your upset but you really need to chill. We just got that call not too long ago. We came as soon as we could. But you can't help your friends even if you did find them in there."

"How do you now that I couldn't help them? You know nothing about me or my friends. Like I said we stick together and I'm not going to back out on them now!"

I couldn't believe this man thought I'd leave my friends. Man, Darry and Soda are gonna skin me alive if Pony's hurt. What am I gonna tell the rest of the gang? I shouldn't of let them go in there. What kind of greaser risks their life for a bunch of blasted kids anyhow? They go on in there acting like nothing's gonna happen to them while I sat there worrying if they were going be all right. Now they're probably burning to death while I sit here agrueing with this no-good fire fighter who doesn't know what the hell is going on.

"I said let me go and I meant it man." So with that said I turned around and slugged the guy hard right on the chin. I grinned as I watched the man fall to the ground. I started to run agian to where I thought they might be. Nothing prepared for what I saw. I've seen people cut up and beaten real bad but I had never seen anyone burned like they were. Some guys were carrying them out on stretchers and they didn't look too good. Johnny was burned bad all over his back and arms, it nearly killed me to see him like that. And then Pony had burns all over his face and a little on his chest. God, I told them it wasn't worth it to go in there! Why? Why didn't they listen to me? The man I had hit early saw me staring at them and helped me out of the building before the building could collapes any further.

"Why? Why do you help people? Don't you see this is what you get for it? You get nothing."

"That's not true. You save lives. Your friends saved the lives of those children. They'll get the pleasure of knowing that."

"And what if they don't make it?"

"If they don't the kids will hold fast to their memory forever."

-

_I hope this isn't too bad. I'm kind of stuck for the title. If you have any better suggestions let me know. Thanks to those who reviewed: Fragile-Ego, babyhilts, and Sarah126._


	3. I Really Need You

_**I Really Need You**_

**Soda's POV**

Pony and Johnny have been missing for a few days now. Ever since the night Darry hit Pony and Johnny killed that Soc. I miss them right bad. I just hope nothing happens to them. Dally told the cops that they fled to Texas. But knowing Dally, it was probably just a wild goose chase. He left to go somewhere the other day. He told me he was just going out for a ride, but I think he's really going to where they're hiding. I gave him a note to give Pony, even though he still insisted that he didn't know where they were. Ever since they left, Darry's been moping around. One night I even heard him crying in his room. It took me a second to realize that it really was my tough, big brother, Darry. I know he never meant to hit Pony. He was just mad and frustrated with him. If only we could get along, things could be different.

"Hey Soda, have you heard anything yet?" asked Steve as he walked inside the house.

"Nothing yet. I hope nothing has happened. Is Dally back yet?"

"Nope. Haven't seen any sign of him. Well, let's get going, we don't want to be late for work"

"Okay then. Let's go," I said just wishing for once I could call in sick so I could go out and look for them.

Steve and I still got there a few minutes late but the boss let us slide. A group of girls came over to me and started flirting with me. I usually don't mind it, but today was different. All of a sudden the phone rang and I quickly left to answer it.

"DX station."

"Soda, I just got a phone call from Dally," I heard Darry say with his voice shaking.

"Where are they? Is everything all right?"

"I'm not sure Soda. Dally said that he was calling from the hospital and sounded pretty shook up. He said something about a fire and a bunch of kids and that we'd better get there soon. They're up at the hospital now."

"Have you told the rest of the gang?"

"Not yet. Can you tell Steve and Two-Bit for me and meet me at the hospital in an hour?"

"Sure. I'll see what I can do."

I hung up the phone, not knowing if I should be relieved that we knew where they were or worried because they're at the hospital. All I knew is that I had to go see Pony now. I went over to where Steve was filling up somebody's car, so I could tell him what was going on.

"Steve, that was Darry. Dally called him at work not too long ago. He said that Johnny, Pony and him are all in the hospital and that we need to do get there as soon as we can. Can you tell Two-Bit and meet me and Darry at the hospital?"

"Sure, no problem. Did Dally say what was wrong?"

"No, that's why I've gotta go. Can you tell the boss for me?"

"Yeah, just promise me you'll be okay 'til we get there."

"Sure, I'll be all right. I'll see ya there."

All kinds of thoughts were going through my head. Was Pony dead? Was he gonna be all right? And what about Johnny? The gang was his only real family. Was he okay? I finally reached the hospital, I hadn't been in one since Mom and Dad died. When I asked at the front desk for Pony and Johnny the lady looked at me, her eyes full of pity. I was directed over to ICU. As I went into Pony's room I almost fainted. This didn't look like my little brother. His hair was bleached a bright colored blonde and he had bad burns all over his face.

"Pony. Pony, it's me Soda," I whispered to him.

"He can't hear you. He's been unconscious ever since they brought him in. You must be one of his brothers. Dallas Winston identified him and another boy," said the nurse.

"You mean Johnny. How is he? Is he okay?"

"We're not sure yet, but it looks like he'll make it. He has severe burns on his back and arms."

"How about Pony? Will he be okay?"

"We can't be sure until he wakes up. Why don't you go visit your other friends while your here. You can't do anything here but sit and wait for him to wake up."

I hated to leave, but I was still anxious to see how Johnny was.

"I'll be right back Pony. Please be okay. We really need you. I really need you," I whispered into his ear.

As I left to go see Johnny, I felt tears running down my face. I really do need you to be alright Pony. I really do.

-

_Wow! I actually finished this chapter. Thanks to those who reviewed: Fragile-Ego, babyhilts, Sarah126, Touya Koori Tenshi, FoxFyre33, Dreamer4lyf718, MyHubbyIsOB, withthisknife-slitmyveinsaway. Hope you enjoy this chapter too._


	4. Always There For Me

_**Always There For Me**_

**Johnny's POV**

As I opened my eyes the room seemed to spin. Where am I? This doesn't look like any place I've ever been before. What happened? I began to look around the room for some kind of clue to tell me where I was. Why do I feel so strange? My back hurts something awful. As I began to look around the room I noticed someone sitting by the bed. It looked like Soda. Could it really be him?

"Soda?" I asked hoping that it wasn't just a dream.

"Hey buddy. It's about time you woke up," Soda said. But there was something wrong with him. It looked to me like he was crying. But Soda never cries around anyone, except maybe Pony.

"Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital. Dally called Darry at work and told him that you and Pony were in the hospital with him."

I remember it now. The church was on fire, and Dally yelling at us to get out and the kids. Had the kids gotten out? Had we got them all? If only we had gotten there sooner, then we could have had time to check. What about Pony? He was with me when that beam came down on top of us. That explains why my back hurts so much. I hope nothing's wrong with me and I hope that Pony will be all right.

"What about Pony and Dally? Are they okay?"

"I don't know yet Johnny. I just came from Ponyboy's room and they won't know how he is until he wakes up. But I haven't gone to see Dally yet."

Suddenly the door opened and Darry came into view. He looked real worn out and rather shabby looking. But I will never forget the look in his eyes. I had never seen anyone look like that, except maybe Dally and it scared me. His eyes were full of emptiness. Like he didn't care what happened to him anymore. And hurt me to see him like that.

"Darry, have you seen Pony yet?" asked Soda with concern in his voice.

"Yeah, I saw him. His nurse told me where you were. Don't worry Soda everything is gonna be okay."

I saw now that steady streams of tears were running down Soda's face. Something must be terribly wrong with Pony. Even Darry looked like he was about to cry. And I know that I couldn't stand it if somethig happened to Pony. He's my best buddy and he's the only one who really gets me.

"So I see Johnny must be doing better. How ya doin' Johnny-cakes?"

"Okay, I guess. I just woke up. How long have I been out anyway Soda?"

"I dunno for sure. Doctor said you've been waking up every now and then, but he said you were delirious and probably wouldn't remember."

"Did he say what was wrong with me?"

"He said that when the beam fell on you, that it messed up the muscles in your back. But he said that rest and some physical therapy would help you to walk again. Don't worry though you'll pull through just fine, you always have," Soda said trying to sound sincere.

Physical therapy would only help me walk again, only help. It hit me that I might never walk with Pony to the movies again or even run from the fuzz. Soda said I would pull through, but what if I didn't? Everyone knows I couldn't stay at my house. I'd kill myself before I stayed around my parents all the time. Where could I go? What could I do? Then, all of a sudden a nurse came rushing into the room.

"Darry, Soda, your brother is coming to and the doctor wants to see you," the nurse said almost sounding out of breath. Darry and Soda looked at each other and then back at me. I know they didn't just want to get up and leave, but Pony needed them just as much as I did and they knew it.

"Go on. Pony needs you more than I do," I said trying to reassure them.

As they left I began to wonder about Pony. Was he really okay? Why did the nurse come to get them in such hurry? Something wasn't all right and I knew it. Then for the first time in years I prayed to God that he would be all right. Pony had always been there for me when I needed him and I couldn't see it any other way.

_Sorry it took so long to update. I've been really busy this week. This chapter is a bit rough so I'll probably go back and revise a few things later hope you like it. Chapter 3 reviewers: Dreamer for lyf, ambereyes2873, Touya Koori Tenshi, Sk8terbandbass101, morgan, MyHubbyIsOB, goldengreaser, and fujifilm_


	5. Everything Changes

_**Everything Changes**_

**Steve's POV**

I regretted leaving Soda all by himself. I'm still afraid that he won't be able to handle it. He told me that he would be all right, but he just doesn't want to admit how scared he is about all of this. I don't care for Pony that much, but I know that Soda and Pony are close. If Pony was seriously hurt, I don't think Soda could deal with it. He can handle Socs and everything like that, but he couldn't stand to lose someone else. Soda had a break down when his parents died, and I don't think I could stand to see him like that again. I had already told the boss what was going on and he let us both off for the day to work everything out. I was on the way to the movies to find Two-Bit. Two-Bit told us earlier that he was going down to the movies to try and pick up a girl. I could hear Two-Bit's crazy laughter and found him sitting with a good-looking blonde.

"Two-Bit. We need to talk."

"Talk about what Steve? Did they find them two little rascals of ours?" Two-Bit said with a laugh. He never could be serious. That's probably why he fit in with us so good.

"They're both in the hospital, along with Dally. We're supposed to meet Soda and Darry there as soon as we can."

"Why are they in the hospital?"

"I don't know, but Soda and Darry really need us man. Let's get going. Okay?"

"Car's parked round the corner. Let's go."

It didn't take us long to get to the hospital, but finding the room was a different story. The lady at the desk gave Two-Bit the directions to the rooms, which explains a lot. Two-Bit never was good at directions. We finally spotted Darry and Soda in the ICU hall. As we approached them I noticed that Soda had been crying and Darry looked like he was about to.

"Are they okay? Have you heard anything yet?"

"The nurse and doctor are with Pony right now. They said that he is coming to and that we can see him in a minute," said Soda with his voice shaking.

"What about Johnny? He okay?" Two-Bit asked.

"His back is burned really bad. The doctor said some physical therapy and stuff should help him walk again."

Two-Bit's face went pale. He loved Johnny and Pony like the little brothers he never had. None of us had ever imagined something like this would happen. We all had it pretty rough, but this was too much.

"What about Pony and Dally?"

"Pony's face is burned real bad. They won't know how bad he really is until he wakes up though. We haven't gone to see Dally yet."

Soda began to cry again. Everyone in the gang knew how close they were. Soda took Pony with us where ever we went. I always told Soda to get rid of him, but he never did. I wish that I had someone who cared for me like that. We all turned around when heard the door to Pony's room open.

"He is waking up and you can come in if you'd like," a nurse said softly as she stuck her head out the door.

We all got up and filed into the small room. I looked at Pony and I was shocked. His face was burned worse than I thought possible. I glanced over at Two-Bit and he looked like he was going to be sick. Pony was hooked up to all kinds of machines and at that moment I would have let Pony tag along with us whenever he liked if he would just be okay. Pony was beginning to wake up, which relieved us all. But when he opened his eyes and looked around he showed no sign of recognition.

"Hey, Pony. We're here for ya now. Everything's going to be all right," Darry said in a soft voice.

"Darry is that you? I can't see you anywhere."

"I'm right here," said Darry as he reached for Pony's hand.

"We're all here for you buddy," Two-Bit said with a wavering voice.

"I can't see any of you. Can someone turn the light on?"

"Pony the light is on," I said trying to remain calm. What was wrong with him? We were all standing around the room in plain sight. Why couldn't he see us?

"I need to speak with all of you outside please. The nurse will take care of his needs right now," said the doctor as he walked out the door.

We all walked out silently. Soda was leaning heavily on Darry, while me and Two-Bit walked beside each other glancing back at Pony.

"I should have told you earlier, but I wasn't sure until now," the doctor said.

"Tell us what?" Soda asked full of concern.

"Your brother is blind."

We all stared at him like he was crazy. Pony can't be blind. Not Pony. As I glanced over at Soda I saw the look on his face. His face was full of shock and fear. Darry and Soda walked over to a row of chairs and sat down with tears streaming down their faces. How can everything change so fast? Why is it that bad things always happen to greasers?

"If it helps, they were caught in a burning church trying to save some kids. Your friend did the right thing," the doctor told me.

"If it was so right then why is he going to be blind for the rest of his life? Pony deserves more than that. He's young. He doesn't deserve to live this way."

"Maybe not. But he wouldn't have gone into that church if he didn't have a reason. He chose to risk his life for those kids and as his friend, you need to accept his decision. He needs you now. Help him get through it."

_Sorry it took so long to update. I know it's not that good but its hard to get into Steve's head and play his emotions. Hope you'll continue reading. Thanks to those who reviewed Chapter 4: Dreamer 4 lyf, MyHubbyIsOB, ambereyes2873, Touya Koori Tenshi. Your reviews do help determine my story cause I really don't know what I'm doing with it yet. _


	6. Nothing Will Ever Be The Same

_**Nothing Will Ever Be The Same**_

**Darry's POV**

I was shocked. My little brother that I had looked after for so long was blind. He'd never be able to see again. How could this be possible? Can Pony really be blind? He has so much more of his life to live and now nothing will ever be the same again. Out of all the people in the world why Pony? Why?

"Hey, are you okay Darry?" asked Two-Bit as he came up behind me and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Right now I don't know about anything. I just don't know."

As I looked over at Soda, who was crying next to me, I took hold of his hand and put my arm around him. Soda had always been closer to Pony than me. I just hoped that somehow we could all get through this. But right now we needed to tell Pony what was wrong with him.

"Soda, Pony needs to know. We have to find some way to tell him."

"I don't think I can handle it right now Darry. It's just too much."

"Pony needs you right now Soda. Be strong for him."

"Okay. I'll try Darry. I'll try."

We all stood up and slowly went back into his room. Pony was still laying there looking around the room for us.

"Guys this isn't funny, turn on the lights!" Pony said starting to sound angry.

"Pony there's something we need to tell you. When that beam hit you it burned your eyes really bad. That's why you can't see," I said looking at the gang for some reassurance.

"What do you mean 'I can't see,' I can see perfectly fine thank you and if you'd just turn the lights on I'll prove it to you."

"Pony, I'm sorry but you really can't see anymore. I didn't want to say it like this but, you're blind."

"No! Your lying! I bet you just wish I was dead!"

"That's not true Pony. I love you. I would never wish something like that . . ."

"Pony he's not lying to you. As much as I hate to say it, it's true," Soda said trying to hold back a sob.

"Just leave me alone! I don't have to listen to you!" he shouted at us.

"I think you should leave right now. He's probably just shocked from the news. He'll be okay. I'll watch out for him," said the nurse who we had spoken to earlier.

"Tell him that we really do need him to be all right."

"I'll be sure to tell him."

We decided to go see Dally while we were still at the hospital, and began a long quiet walk up to his room. As we entered we saw Dally sittin' on the bed just starin' off into space.

"Hey Dally," Steve said casually.

"Hey guys! I've been waiting for you to come up and see me. So how are they? Are they going to be all right? I tried to stop them. I told them it wasn't worth it, but they just wouldn't listen!"

"Doctor said that Johnny'll be okay after some physical therapy and stuff to help him walk again," I said trying to sound calm.

"And Pony?"

"He's blind Dal," Two-Bit said with his voice wavering. There was a long pause followed by an uncontrollable burst of angry from Dallas.

"No! He can't be blind! Not Pony! I told them it wasn't worth it, but did they listen? If you're tough like me you don't get hurt!Why didn't they listen to me? Why?"

"I dunno Dally. I just don't know."

Dally's burst of anger had caught all of us by surprise. Normally Dally can handle anything. He never shows his emotions. He's never shown his anger, fear, or even dissappointment. Not ever. I just hope that we'll be able to stick together. Nothing will ever be the same again, but I wish it could. I'd give anything for my little brother back. Anything.

_So what do you think? I hope this is what you were looking for. I'll try to make the next chapter longer. Thanks to those who reviewed Chapter 5: Dreamer 4 lyf, MyHubbyIsOB, Touya Koori Tenshi, kathy, Sk8terbandbass101, Lil Irish QT, me, Siriuss-Slytherin-Princess. _


	7. Every New Day

_**Every New Day**_

**Two-Bit's POV**

It has been a week or so since the accident up in Windrixville and the news about Pony. Pony's finally beginning to accept the fact that he can't see anymore, but he still seems mad at the world. Darry and Soda are trying to help him adjust with everything as well as trying to cope themselves. Dally's still taking it pretty hard, blaming himself for what happened. We all know that it wasn't his fault, but we know Dally won't accept that. Johnny's been staying at the Curtis' lately cause he's tired of hearing his parents gripe at him about how useless he is. Other than that I'd say that Johnny's doin' pretty good, besides trying to get around on his crutches, which he's still pretty clumsy at. And then there's Steve, who is just trying to act like nothing happened, which makes it pretty tough on all of us. It's like our whole life has had to start over from scratch. And in the end I don't know if we'll make it.

"Hey Two-Bit! Want to go catch a movie tonight?" yelled Steve as I came into the Curtis' house.

"I dunno, what movie were you plannin' on goin' to see?"

"Which ever one's easier to sneak into," Steve said with a laugh.

"Hey Soda! Are you and Darry goin' to go with us?" I asked pretty sure that I already knew what his answer was gonna be.

"I don't think so Two-Bit. The kid just got back from the hospital not too long ago and he needs us right now."

"Don't worry 'bout Pony. I'll stay with him. You and Darry haven't been anywhere since we got out of the hospital," Johnny said as he came down the hall.

He was right. Those two wouldn't even leave the hospital room to go get a bite to eat. And now that he's out of the hospital they still don't want to leave him alone.

"Come on Soda. Pony'll be all right with Johnny watching him. Ain't that right Johnny-cakes?" I asked trying to convince my friend.

You know I won't let nothin' happen to him. Come on Soda, you just need to get out of the house. After all you go back to work next week anyway."

"I guess, but you know Darry'll never agree."

"Agree to what little brother?"

"Steve and Two-Bit want us to go to the movies with them tonight. Johnny said he'd look after Pony. I don't want to leave him anymore than you do, but you have to admit it's been about week since we've even been outside," Soda said trying to convince Darry.

"I don't know Soda. Why don't we ask Pony what he thinks, it's about time for him to be gettin' up anyway," Darry said resentfully.

"I'll wake the kid up," I said jumping up off the couch and starting to head towards his room.

"Hey Pony! Time to get up you lazy bum," I said trying to shake him awake.

"Is that you Two-Bit?" he asked trying to sit up.

"Yep, It's me all right. You want me to help you get ready?" I asked knowing that he was still having a hard time trying to find stuff in his room.

"Sure. What time is it anyway?"

"It was 10:15 in the morning, last I checked."

"Okay. Can you find me a shirt and a pair of jeans?" Pony asked groping on top of his dresser for a comb.

"Here you go," I said placing the pile of clothes he asked me for plus his comb into his hand.

"Thanks Two-Bit. Tell them I'll be out in a minute."

"Okay, but hurry up I'm starving," I said hoping to make him smile, but got none of the sort. So I walked back into the den and flopped down on the couch.

"How's he doin' Two-Bit?"

"He's doin' fine, Darry. He just needed some help finding his clothes and a comb. He'll be all right. He's a tough kid."

"Hey guys," Pony said as he began to make his way down the hall.

"Hey Pony," Soda said as he got up to help his brother over to the couch. "I've got ya. Let's sit on the couch. Okay?"

"Okay, Soda. Just don't let me trip over anything like last time," Pony said trying to sound serious. It was just a few days ago that Soda had guided Pony to the couch only to let him trip over Soda's old tennis shoes. Soda had felt so bad when Pony fell and was afraid that Pony wouldn't trust him anymore. Things had smoothed out since.

"Hey Pony. Steve and Two-Bit wanted us to go to the movies with them. Would you be okay with that? If you'd rather we stay it's fine with us," Darry said real nervous like.

"I'll be fine guys. Just go see the movie. But promise me you'll tell me all about it. The world's robbed me from seeing movies anymore, so why should I do the same to you? I'll be fine, Johnny will stay here with me. Right, Johnny?"

"You know I wouldn't go anywhere without you. Don't worry we'll hang tonight."

"Thanks, Johnny. You're a real pal. I don't know how much fun I can be, after all we can't play cards, watch T.V., or anything like that. I honestly don't understand why this happened. But it has, so I'll just learn to deal with it."

I hated to see the kid like that. Pony was the one who always showed how much good there was in everyone's life. Ever since the accident he hasn't been the same. I just wish that he'd wake up and be the same old Ponyboy I knew before the fire took everything away from him like that. Every new day just brings us more trials to deal with. Why? I don't think anyone knows. But we all needed Pony to return to how he used to be. A kid full of love for life instead of hatred.

_I have to say I'm pleased with this chapter. I've finally had time to just sit down and write. I know my last chapter was rather bad but thanks to those who reviewed chapter six anyway: MyHubbyIsOB, Siriuss-Slytherin-Princess, Titan12, ktk2005, and Dreamer 4 lyf._


	8. Unexpected Message

_**Unexpected Message**_

**Pony's POV**

I know what I said to the gang was pretty harsh, but how would they react if someone told them that they were blind? Every day I wake up hoping that my sight has somehow miraculously returned. But every single time, it's the same as the day before. I can't go anywhere with out running into something. I can't see Soda's big grin or Darry's muscular build. I long to go see a movie with the gang or watch just one more sunset. But nothing will change what happened, no matter how much I wish it was just another nightmare.

"Pony, if you don't want us to go, we'll stay. We're okay with that," Darry said upset about his little brother's outburst.

"No. I'm fine. You two just go and have some fun. Okay?"

"Pony, are you sure?" Soda asked studying his brother's face.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"All right then. Let's get started already!" Steve shouted as he ran out the door to get into the truck. The gang followed him out, hoping that for once they could forget about everything and have some fun. Then Pony heard the car start up and squeal out of the driveway, and he knew they were all alone.

"Johnny, I'm sorry about what I said. You know I didn't mean nothin'. I just don't understand. The one time I do something good with my life this happens. I just don't get it."

"I know what you mean. But we're in this together Ponyboy, and I'm here for ya. We just gotta tough it out and things will get better I promise."

"I sure hope you're right. I don't know how much longer I can take this! I'm sick of them treating me like a baby. I know they mean well, but . . . you gotta cigarette, Johnny? I really need a smoke," I said trying to control my shaking voice.

"You know Darry don't want ya smokin' the way you are," Johnny said trying to reason with me, but it had been awhile since I had smoked one. Dally had snuck me one every once in awhile, but he hadn't been by the house lately.

"Come on, Johnny. I gotta lighter in my pocket, but you know Darry's got all the smokes under lock and key," I pleaded with him, hoping he'd give in.

"All right. But don't you let Darry find out or he'll skin me alive," Johnny said placing a cigarette into my hand. I carefully took the cigarette and placed it in my mouth and then started fumbling with the lighter.

"Aah!" I said jumping up suddenly. I had almost had the thing lit when the flame had come across my hand.

"I knew I never should've given it to you. Here, I'll light it for you. Then I'll go get something to put on your hand," Johnny said as he bent down to pick up the lighter where I had dropped it. He quickly lit my smoke and then went to go get something for my hand.

"You'd think you wouldn't want to mess with fire like that after what happened to us. I guess some things just never change," Johnny said as he began to wipe my hand down with some kind of salve and bandaged it up. All I knew was that I wasn't relishing the fact, about explaining a bandaged hand to Darry.

"Thanks, Johnny. We've been through a lot together. Remember when we were trying to climb that big oak and when we finally made it to the top I slipped and fell? I guess I'm just an accident waiting to happen," I said with a laugh, but was stopped suddenly when I heard a big noise. I heard Johnny get up and walk slowly toward the door.

"What is it Johnny? What's going on?" I said too scared to think about what it could be.

"It's Dally, Pony. He's hurt real bad. Do you think you could help me pull him inside? He just opened the door and collapsed, I . . . I don't know what's wrong with him," I heard Johnny say as I carefully made my way over to him and helped Johnny pull him through the doorway. I heard Dally groan and say something unintelligible.

"What's he look like Johnny?" I asked wanting more than ever to see what was going on in front of me.

"He's been beat real bad and there's a bad gash on his forehead," Johnny said, but before he could continue Dally started regaining consciousness.

" . . . you gotta get outta here, man . . . the Socs are after both of you . . . they told me tell you . . . you gotta run . . . now . . . " Dally pleaded with us in a low voice.

"Johnny, I think we should lock the doors until the gang gets back," I said not knowing what to do. I hope the gang hurries. We really need them right now.

"I locked everything. Do you really think they'll try to break in the house?"

" . . . they'll try anything . . . but first . . . they wanted you . . . to know that they will . . . " Dally said sounding exhausted.

"He's out again, Pony. I just don't know what to do. I'm the one who killed that Soc not you. You shouldn't have to pay," Johnny cried.

"That's not true. You wouldn't have been in that park if I hadn't asked you to come with me. So stop blaming yourself. Everything will be okay," I said trying to tell myself that I was right. Everything would be okay.

_This was surely unexpected. I didn't even know I was going to do this, until I wrote it. If you don't like this little twist let me know, because if majority don't I WILL rewrite this chapter. Thanks to those who reviewed my crummy chapter seven (sorry it was so bad): Dreamer 4 lyf and Siriuss-Slytherin-Princess._


	9. A Losing Battle

_**A Losing Battle**_

**Dally's POV**

I had been heading toward the vacant lot when a blue Mustang had pulled up beside me. I stopped and looked over at them because I wondered what they wanted. But that was my mistake. There were five Socs in the car. But in a minute they had all jumped out of the car and were all over me. I figured I had a fair chance since I had my blade with me, but as I reached into my pocket I realized that it wasn't there. I must have left at Buck's place last night. All of a sudden I felt two Socs grab hold of my arms in order to restrain me for what was to come. The three remaining Socs came at me and began kicking me. I had done my best to kick back at them, but it was no use. I was out numbered and I knew it. I just hoped that the gang would walk by and give me hand, but no such luck. The Socs holding my arms released their grip on me and let me fall to the ground, but they kept kicking me. I was barely conscious when one of the Socs pulled me up by my hair and began to yell at me.

"You're pathetic greaser. Just as pathetic as your friends. I want you tell the two that killed Bob, that we'll get them when the time is right. Tell them that they'll end up a lot worse than you. Pleasant dreams, greaser!" the Soc said as he let me drop to the ground and kicked me hard in the head. That was the last thing I knew. When I woke up again I was in the Curtis' house. I saw Johnny and Pony leaning over me. I had to tell them to get outta here. Those Socs would kill them for sure.

" . . . you gotta get outta here, man . . . the Socs are after both of you . . . they told me tell you . . . you gotta run . . . now . . . " I said, hoping they'd forget about me and run.

"Johnny, I think we should lock the doors until the gang gets back," Pony said with his voice sounding frantic. I saw Johnny quickly jump up to go lock all the doors and then hurry to my side with a bottle of peroxide.

"I locked everything. Do you really think they'll try to break in the house?" he asked as he poured some of the stuff over a rag and began to wipe it over my cuts.

" . . . they'll try anything . . . but first . . . they wanted you to . . . to know that they will . . . " I said hoping that they would understand how urgent it was for them to get outa here. I tried to sit up, but my head began to spin and I fell into the comfort of the surrounding darkness.

I didn't know how long I'd been out, but it sure felt like awhile. Pony was sleeping on the couch and Johnny was asleep on the floor next to him. I decided to get up and get something to drink, my throat was awful dry. As I got up I heard a lot of yellin' and laughin', but the voices didn't belong to the gang. I was sure they belonged to the Socs that had beaten me up earlier. I went over to Johnny and woke him up to tell him what was going on. He quietly got up and grabbed his crutches to make his way down the hall. He quickly opened the dresser drawer to show me where Darry had hidden the blades, and pulled one out for each of us. We agreed that Pony should have a blade anyway, so he could feel a little bit more secure. We were heading back toward the couch to wake him up, when suddenly the Socs started banging on the door. Pony sat up quickly looking pretty shook up.

"It's okay, Pony," I said trying to reassure him, but not having much luck.

"Here, take this," Johnny said as he pressed one of the blades into Pony's hand.

"Pony, I don't want you to try and fight unless you have to, you understand? And Johnny, be careful, will ya?" I said, since Johnny still couldn't manuever around very well on his crutches. I wan't too worried about him as long as he didn't lose his balance, he should be fine. Pony was a different matter. I still blame myself for what happened to him and I didn't want him to get hurt again.

"Hey, greasers! We know you're in there! Why don't you come out before we break the door down!" we could hear the Socs yelling at us.

"Why don't you just go to hell!" I yelled at them.

"Did you hear that? That stupid greaser we picked up earlier is trying to scare us," I heard one Soc say after he recognized my voice. I couldn't believe they just said that to me. Dallas Winston. That's it. I wasn't going to take this from these Socs anymore. No matter how weak I feel right now, I have to fight.

"That wasn't a fair fight and you know it!" I shouted at them trying to control my anger. I felt Johnny place a hand on my arm.

"Dally, we need you to stay here and help us. We gotta try to hold them off until the gang gets back. Please, Dally." Johnny said pleading with me not to leave them.

"Okay," I whispered to him, but I was too tired to fight anyway. I began to sway on my feet and fell to the ground totally exhausted. I had to fight to stay awake, but I knew I wouldn't be able to hang on much longer.

"Help me up, Johnny. We gotta fight them off. We've gotta beat 'em good," I said not quite comprehending what I was saying. I couldn't think straight anymore and my mind was starting to get fuzzy. Stay awake, Dally. Come on, stay awake Dal, they need you man. But no matter what I told myself, I just couldn't fight it anymore and surrendered to the darkness.

_Sorry for the cliff hanger, but I had to stop with Dally somewhere. Well majority said that I should keep the last chapter how it was so, I did. Thanks to those who reviewed chapter 8: Dreamer for lyf, Lil Irish QT, Scarlett7, ambereyes2873, kathy, Locket the Lookout, shmibby, and MyHubbyIsOB ( Thanks so much for helping me! ). I really appreciate the reviews, keep 'em coming._


	10. Unending Retaliation

_**Unending Retaliation**_

**Soda's POV**

We got back from the movies later than we thought we would. We all had been lingering around talkin' to some other greasers about what's been going on lately. We finally managed to get on our way, saying that we needed to check on Pony and Johnny. As we drove down our street, we saw a blue Mustang parked in front of the house. There were about five Socs standing in front of our door banging on it.

"Stop the car, Darry!" I yelled, and the car quickly came to a stop. We all jumped out and began to run toward the Socs. They saw us coming at them and turned around to face us. The fight had begun. I was mad that they came to fight Pony and Johnny, when we weren't around to protect them. I took out all my anger on my Soc and almost had him on the ground when he pulled out a blade. I knew that mine was in the house, since Darry doesn't like me and Pony to carry one. I looked over at the rest of the gang and saw that me and Darry were the only ones without a blade. The Soc I was fighting was quickly back on his feet, holding the blade out at me.

"You can't beat me that easy, greaser!" the Soc yelled as he took a swing at me. I felt the blade slice threw my t-shirt and into my skin. I looked at the gang to see if anyone could give me hand, but everyone was still goin' at it. Darry looked at me and tried to get over to me, but he still had two Socs on him. I was on my own. But before I could focus back on my Soc, he pinned me to the ground.

"You're pretty good-looking greaser, but I think we can change that," the Soc slurred drunkenly as he held the blade up to my cheek. I struggled, trying to get him off of me, but it was no use. He slowly ran the blade down my cheek and I could feel the blood running down my face. After struggling with him a little longer I managed to get loose and saw him waiting for me to strike back at him. I punched him in the stomach, but couldn't avoid the blade that cut deep into my shoulder. I kept on trying to hit him, without having much luck. I felt like I was going to collapse if I didn't get away from this Soc soon. After a few minutes, I fell to the ground exhausted.

"Soda! I'm comin'! Hang on buddy!" I could hear Darry yell. He had one Soc down and was finishing off the other. Two-Bit and Steve glanced over at me with concern, when they heard Darry yell. I guess I looked pretty bad, cut up and bleeding like I was. I looked over at Darry again and saw him running towards me. He made quick work of the Soc and came over to me to see if I was okay.

"You all right, Soda?"

"Yeah, just a few cuts is all. Thanks, Darry," I said. Steve and Two-Bit had just finished their Socs and were comin' towards us.

"You guys okay?" Two-Bit asked looking me over.

"Yeah, but let's check on Pony and Johnny. Help me up, will ya?" I said as Darry grabbed my arm to help me stand up and walk to the door. Steve tried to turn the doorknob for us, but it was locked.

"Johnny, open the door. The Socs are gone," Two-Bit said tryin' to look through the window at them. We could hear some noise in the house and finally the door opened. Darry and Steve helped me to the couch, but we were suprised to see Dally lying on our living room floor. He looked like he had been jumped and didn't seem to be concious.

"Johnny, what's goin' on?" Pony asked sounding shook up.

"Nothin' Pony, some Socs tried to break in. We took care of it already, don't worry. We're all here now," I said trying to reassure him.

"Steve, can you go get me a clean cloth, bandages and some peroxide for Soda? And don't you start telling me your fine, cause I know you're not." Darry said to me with a worried expression.

"All right, but hurry up will ya?" I said as I saw Steve retrieve the stuff Darry had asked for. He helped me ease off my bloody shirt and threw it in the trash can with disgust. He took the rag Steve handed him and tried to wipe as much of the blood off my chest and face as he could. Then he put some peroxide on the cuts and bandaged them up.

"You look like a chipmunk!" Two-Bit said with a laugh when he saw the bandage across my face.

"Very funny," I said as I threw a pillow at him.

"Johnny, do you know what happened to Dally?" Darry asked hoping he could find out what had gone on while we were out.

"A bunch of Socs jumped him in the vacant lot. He keeps coming in and out of it. We cleaned his cuts the best we could. He said the Socs were after us and that we needed to get out of here."

"I think that from now on, we all need to keep together and not go out alone, especially you two," Darry said pointing at Pony and Johnny.

"It's getting late. Why don't you and Pony go ahead and get to bed," I said hoping that I could join them soon. They quietly got up and made their way to the bedroom. I felt rather sick and stood up leaning heavily on the wall.

"Soda, are you okay? You're bleeding again. Here, let me help you," Darry said as he came over to me. I felt my legs give way and I fell to the floor. The gang rushed over to me looking at me like I was on my death bed. I tried to grin at them, but it hurt too much.

"Those cuts are deeper than I thought," I could hear my brother say.

"Should we take him to the hospital?" Two-Bit asked sounding pretty worried.

"He's goin' to need stitches and I'm not goin' stitch him up. Help me get him to the car. Can you stay here until we get back, Two-Bit?"

"Sure." They helped me get up and into the truck and we took off.

"Darry, I'll be fine. We can't leave Pony at the house again, the Socs will come back."

"Not this time little buddy. You lost a lot of blood and you just can't seem to stop bleeding yet. Don't worry Two-Bit's staying with them."

"Darry it's just a few cuts. I'll be fine tomorrow morning. I just need to sleep it all off."

"Soda if you keep bleeding like this, you won't see tomorrow morning," Steve said trying to sound serious, but I knew it was no use to argue. It didn't take long to get to the hospital. They took me into a back room and looked me up and down. They sewed most of the cuts up and then sent us on our way, with a stern warning about staying away from knives. When we got back to the house I went into our room that me and Pony shared, and lately Johnny. I crawled into the bed beside Pony trying not to wake him, and fell asleep.

_Sorry it took so long to update. I don't know how many times I rewrote this chapter. I just couldn't seem to get it right. It's still not very good and sounds kind of cheezy, but I wanted to update before I go out of town next week. Hopefully the next chapter will be better. Thanks to those who reviewed chapter 9: Dreamer for lyf, MyHubbyIsOB, Scarlett7, kathy and Lil Irish QT._


	11. Almost the Same

_**Almost the Same**_

**Johnny's POV**

It was really late when I saw Pony get up and stumble over to the window. I had noticed how quiet he had been since the fire. He just wasn't the same old Ponyboy. I looked at him staring out into the night sky. But he was really staring at nothing. He couldn't see the stars in the sky. He'll never see another sunrise. I thought I was bad off by having to be on crutches for a while, but Pony is blind for life. I keep thinking back to when I killed that Soc, thinkin' that if I hadn't killed him everything would be the same. But I know it wouldn't, Pony would have been dead if I hadn't killed that Soc.

"Pony, you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine Johnny."

"You want to talk Ponyboy?"

"I'd really like that, Johnny. Whenever I try to talk to Sodapop, he gets all mushy and stuff."

"I guess he just doesn't know what to say around you. You're not the same Ponyboy you used to be. Remember when we were up in Windrixville? We ate bologna for about a week. I can't even remember how many cancer sticks we smoked."

"I'll never forget it. I don't think, I'll ever eat bologna again," Pony said with a laugh. It was the first time I'd heard him laugh since the accident.

"We've had good times together, haven't we, Pony?"

"Yes, both good and bad."

"What do you think about the Socs? Do you think they'll come after us?" I asked remembering Dally's warning about getting out of here.

"I don't know, Johnny. Dally said they would, but he wasn't all together earlier. I think that we should stay with the gang. Last time we ran, nothing went right. I'd rather stay here with Soda and Darry."

"I guess you're right, maybe we can talk to Dally in the morning."

"Sounds good to me. I'm goin' back to bed though."

I watched him make his way back to the bed and slide up underneath Soda's arm. He was sound asleep in no time and I went back to my sleeping bag on the floor. Before I could fall asleep I thought about my life and all I had been through. But the main thing that stuck out to me, was that the gang always had my back. No matter what happened they always had my back. I couldn't run away again from what I knew and loved, together we could beat the Socs. Together we could win. I woke up in the morning to the sound of the gang in the living room. I looked up at Pony who was still sound asleep with Soda. I got dressed and was goin' into the kitchen when I heard Dally from behind me.

"Hey, kid. You guys okay?"

"Yeah, we're fine. Pony and Soda are still sleeping."

"I'm . . . I'm sorry about last night. I tried to stay awake, Johnny. I really did. You know I wouldn't leave you like that on purpose."

"I know, Dal. You were hit on the head pretty hard. Nothin' could have kept you awake last night. It's okay, no harm done. The gang got here not long after you went out."

"Thanks kid. Well, come on, let's get something to eat," he said said as we headed into the kitchen where Darry was cookin' breakfast.

"Hey, Johnny. Are Soda and Pony up yet?" Darry asked as we entered the room.

"No, they're still asleep."

"Can you ask Two-Bit or Steve to wake 'em up for me?"

"Sure," I said as I made my way to the living room.

"Darry wants one of you to wake up Pony and Soda."

"Okay!" Two-Bit and Steve yelled as they both ran the down the hall to Soda and Pony's room. We all heard a wild yelp from Soda and a groggy 'get off of me' from Pony. Slowly they all came into the kitchen. Two-Bit was jumping up and down talking about how bad he beat his Soc. We all sat down and began to eat some scrambled eggs, pancakes and some chocolate cake that Darry had laid out for breakfast.

"Soda, I think you should stay home today and take care of yourself," Darry said as he glanced over at Soda, who was gritting his teeth as he pulled out his chair to sit down.

"I'll be fine, Darry. The boss will let me take it easy. We need the money to pay all the bills anyway."

"I guess, but if I find out you didn't, I'll have what's left of your hide," Darry said jokingly.

"Well, we'd better get goin' Sodapop, if we're goin' to get there on time," Steve said as he stuffed a piece of chocolate cake in his mouth, before walking out the door.

"See ya'll later, and don't worry, Darry. I can take care of myself," Soda said as he slowly got up from the table and followed Steve out the door.

"Speaking of work, I'd better get going too. Will you guys be okay?"

"We'll be all right, Darry. I'll take the boys out with me later," Dally said giving me one of his reckless grins.

"Just be sure not to get into any trouble," Darry said before walking out the door.

"Where are we goin' Dally," I asked wondering what he was up to this time.

"I thought we should go to Buck Meril's place and talk to Tim Shepherd about the Socs. You wanna come, Two-Bit?"

"Why not? There ain't nothing else to do around this place. Let's go!" he said giving us one of his goofy grins.

"Pony, you think you can manage goin' with us to Buck's place. We'll stay close to ya, kid. No sweat," Dally said not wanting to leave Pony behind.

"Sure, just don't let Darry find out. He'll skin all of ya."

"All right! Let's go!" Dally shouted and we all piled into Two-Bit's car.

_This chapter was jumping around a lot so it might have been hard to follow. I hope you like this one. I wanted to write one more chapter before I go out of town this week. I'll update as soon as I get back. Please if you have ANY ideas let my know cause I really don't know where I'm going with this and might just end it where it is if I can't think of anything soon. Thanks to those who reviewed chapter 10: MyHubbyIsOB, Lil Irish QT, Dreamer for lyf, ChibiYugiYasha, ambereyes2873 and OneManShow._


	12. It Will All Be Okay

_**It Will All Be Okay**_

**Steve's POV**

"Hey, Soda! You workin' register today?" I asked as we walked up to the DX.

"Sure, I'm still feelin' a bit sore."

"Face it, Soda. You're more than a bit sore. Those Socs worked you over pretty good. If I was you, I'd have stayed home."

"Yeah, but Darry doesn't need to know that. We need all the money we can get in order to pay off all the hospital bills."

"I know, but it won't help if you end up in the hospital again," I said, not wanting to see anymore of us in the hospital again. I hated hospitals. It always seems that every time we end up there, something bad happens. I just don't want to see my best friend there again, even if he wasn't hurt that bad.

"I know. Don't worry 'bout it. I can take care of myself," Soda said giving me one of his fake smiles.

"All right, but I'll be doing fill up today if ya need me," I said before heading over to the gas pumps.

"Okay, I'll catch ya later," Soda said as he walked towards the register.

The day went on as normal, but I noticed that Soda was rather slow and gritting his teeth a lot. I was going over to tell Soda to either start taking it easy or go home when I overheard a conversation between him and a customer.

"Oh, Soda! What happened to you? You used to be so cute," the girl said to him sounding dissappointed.

"Can I help you ma'am?" I asked trying hard to be polite.

"No. I was just talkin' to Sodapop, about getting my car worked on," she answered curtly.

"Well, next time I'd prefer it if you'd keep your mouth shut around my friends."

"Fine," the girl said snobbishly as she walked away to her little T-bird.

"Thanks, Steve. But I got everything under control."

"I dunno. You ain't lookin' too good."

"Don't look now, but look what's comin'," I heard Soda hiss under his breath. Two Socs were comin' our way and not lookin' too happy.

"What do ya want?" I asked them as I recognized them as two of the Socs from last night.

"We just want to now how this greaser here, likes getting his butt kicked," one of them said motioning toward Soda with a laugh.

"I think you had better leave," Soda said eyeing the Soc up and down.

"I don't think so greaser. I can do whatever I want," the Soc said giving Soda a big matter-of-fact grin.

"If you really want to stick around we can give you that make over you've been needin'," I said flicking out my blade. As I glanced over at Soda I saw that he was shakin' a bit. If he hadn't have gotten the brunt of the fight last night we could take these guys on, no problem. But he was beat up real bad.

"We'll let ya slide this time greasers, but we'll get ya soon enough," the Soc said as they turned around and walked away.

"Soda, you really should go home and take it easy. I'll cover your shift as best as I can," I said noticing how pale he looked.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Go ahead and get back to work. I'm gonna go ahead and go home."

"You be careful, ya hear? I'll see ya when I get off," I yelled after Soda as he began the walk home.

It didn't take long to get off work and head over to the Curtis'. When I walked inside the house I found Soda fast asleep on the couch. I couldn't see Dally, Johnny, Pony or Two-Bit anywhere. They probably went to go catch a movie or somethin'. Not wantin' to wake Soda up, I sat on the floor and fell asleep right away. I woke up later to the sound of the rest of the gang comin' through the door. Dally was smilin' about somethin' and messin' with Johnny's hair. Two-Bit looked a bit worried as he helped Pony through the door.

"What's botherin' you Two-Bit?" I asked him still half asleep and looked over at Soda who was slowly opening his eyes.

"We were just over at Buck's place talkin' to Tim Shepherd. He heard about last night and thought that a heater might come in handy. He gave it to Dal," he said glancing over at Dally.

"Do you really think that's necessary Dal? We've only had one run in with them lately," I said as I looked over at Soda. Even if we've only had one run in, the outcome wasn't that pretty.

"It's necessary. Johnny and Pony could've been killed if you hadn't have come when you did! All I know is that I'm not letting them outta my sight and I'm not taking any chances!" Dally shouted at us sounding rather aggravated.

"But you kill people with heaters!" Two-Bit argued.

"You kill them with blades too! I won't use it unless I have to. The Socs deserve to go to hell anyway! If it wasn't for them Pony would be okay. They deserve all that they get and more!" Dallly said almost shaking.

"Dal, I chose to do what I did. I know it's not fair for me to have to live like this, but those kids didn't deserve to burn to death," Pony said trying to convince Dally that everything was okay.

"No, it's not okay! You're useless, Pony! Don't you get it? You can't even see! You can't do anything! And nothing can ever change that!" Dally shouted angrily at him as he jumped up from the couch.

"Don't talk to him like that!" Soda said as he also shot up from the couch, but ended up on the floor, due to the sharp pain in his side. Me and Two-Bit rushed over to help him up, while Dally tried to apologize to Pony.

"You're right. I'm not worth it. What good am I to you? A blind boy who can't even walk in a straight line. I would be better off dead," Pony stated so calmly that it scared us all. We watched Pony slowly make his way to his room and shut the door.

"Pony, wait! I didn't mean it! I was just upset! Pony, please," Dally pleaded as he walked down the hall after Pony.

"Dal, we know you didn't mean it. Give him some time to think. He'll be okay," Johnny said trying to calm Dally down. It will all be okay.

_It sure took a long time to post this chapter. I just got back from TN and have been writing every chance I get. I know Dally might be a bit out of character, so bear with me there. I still need some more ideas. I keep digging myself into a hole I can't seem to get out of. Well, thanks to those who reviewed Chapter 11: Lil Irish QT, MyHubbyIsOB, kathy, Moriah, and virgil-t-stone._


	13. Because of Love

_**Because of Love**_

**Darry's POV**

I was looking forward to seeing everyone once I got home. I had only been back to work a few days and had been really worried about Pony bein' by himself. But I was also worried about how Soda was doin', after what happened last night. He always told me he was okay, even when he wasn't. As I walked into the house I found Johnny, Soda, Steve, and Two-Bit sitting in our living room.

"Where's Pony and Dally?" I asked as I noticed they were no where around.

"Pony's in his room and Dally's tryin' to get in, so he can talk to him," Steve said calmly.

"Soda, what happened?" I asked hoping they couldn't detect the concern I felt, in my voice.

"Dally and Pony had a fight about the fire and everything."

"What exactly did they say?" I asked studying my brother's face.

"Dally told Pony that it was the Socs fault and that he's useless because of them."

"Can you guys start cookin' dinner? I'm goin' to go talk to Pony and Dally," I said as I walked toward the Pony's room. Dally stood up when he saw me comin' like he wanted to explain what happened.

"Soda told me what happened. Has Pony said anything yet?" I asked hoping that he had.

"No. Not since I yelled at him," Dally said regretfully. I could tell that he was mad at himself for what he had said. I knew he would never say anything to hurt Pony. He took most of the blame for the accident on himself.

"Why don't you go back into the living room with the gang, while I talk to Pony? Everything will be okay," I said, but he still looked rather worried. I knocked on the heavy wooden door of Pony's room once Dally had gotten down the hall.

"Pony, open the door. We need to talk," I said still knocking on the door. I could hear him shuffling around, trying to find the doorknob. When Pony opened the door, I noticed that his eyes were red and puffy. He had been crying.

"Hey Darry," Pony said softly.

"You wanna talk? The guys are makin' dinner right now."

"I'm not hungry."

"All right, but you already lost a lot of weight and don't need to lose anymore." Ever since he got back from the hospital, he has been nothing but skin and bones. He just refuses to eat, and when he does he barely eats anything. Soda said that you can see every single one of his ribs. I've even noticed how all of his shirts just hang off him. Was this how he was trying to deal with the accident? The doctor warned us 'bout Pony cutting himself or possible suicide attempts, but starving himself? No. Pony would never harm himself in any way. He couldn't. He's just so well-rounded and mellow.

"Why do you think bad things always happen to us?" Pony asked, looking back at me intently.

"I dunno, Pony. It just happens that way," I said not knowing what to say.

"Yeah, and Socs get all the breaks."

"Come on, let's go help the guys. They need a little supervision. Don't you think?"

"I'm not sure what good I can do you."

"Don't talk like that. You're what keep me and Soda going. If something happened to you I don't know what we'd do," I said hoping he'd believe me.

"I guess," he said, and we began to walk toward the kitchen.

"Soda! You had better get over here and sit down! You're boss called me at work and told me you went home sick. You'd better get to bed early tonight. You hear me?" I told Soda as I helped Pony sit down at the table.

"But Darry, I'm fine. I spent most of the day sleepin' on the couch," Soda argued with me.

"If you're so fine than how come you had to come home from work early?" I asked trying to make my point.

"I'm not movin' around here like I am at work."

"Fine, but if you do this again tomorrow you're stayin' in bed, whether you like it or not."

"Don't count on it," Soda said playfully as he gave me one of his big grins.

"So what did you guys pull together, to make a supposed meal?" I asked sarcastically. It seemed that every time I ask the gang to make a meal, you sure get a surprise. Try Two-Bit's chocolate chip omeletts for a start.

"How does pancakes and chocolate cake sound?" Two-Bit said with a huge grin.

"Didn't we just have that this morning for breakfast?"

"Yeah, but who cares. It is food after all," Two-Bit said handing me a plate of food.

"Well, as long as it's edible."

"Don't worry. It's not like I poisned it or anything."

"In that case, I think Steve should take the first bite," I said handing my plate to Steve.

"Thanks a lot. You sure can feel the love in here tonight," he said sarcastically.

"Yep. Hurry up and taste it will ya?" Two-Bit said to us impatiently.

"Mmm, it's so good." Steve said over exaggerating it.

"Told you it's good," Two-Bit said handing everyone else a plate of food.

"I don't want anything right now," Pony said as Two-Bit offered him a plate.

"Come on kid, it ain't that bad."

"I'm just not hungry. I'll eat somethin' later."

"If you're sure."

"Yeah, I am."

Pony didn't say one word throughout dinner. I mean, usually my little brother is quiet, but not this quiet. I was suprised at how well he got over the accident, not long after he had gotten home from the hospital. He had acted a little down, but other than that he was fine. But tonight, he's just out there somewhere. When he told me that he wasn't worth anything, it killed me. I know he thinks I'm too tough on him, but I only do it cause I love him. I just can't help but feeling that if I hadn't of hit him, none of this would have happened. I just want Pony to know that I really need him here with me. I don't think I could live without him. I love my little my brother and it hurts me to see him like this. I'd do anything to take away his pain. Anything.

_I know this a bit too dramatic for some of you. But with only three feedbacks on this, this is what you get. Hope you enjoy it. Thank you so much Dreamer for lyf, mischief-maker and babygurl33 for reviewing chapter 12. I'll update when I get the chance._


	14. Not Any Other Way

_**Not Any Other Way**_

**Two-Bit's POV**

Something's really wrong with Ponyboy. He hasn't eaten barely anything at all lately. Okay, so he never really was that big of an eater like me, but he still needs to eat somethin'. I just hope that the kid isn't takin' it too hard, 'bout what Dally said and all. We all know Dally didn't mean it. He's just blew up. Ever since the accident we've seen less and less of Dally. Dally thinks that if he had kept them from going in there, then they would be okay. We all know it was an accident, but Dally can't help but blame himself. He was there, and he saw the roof collapse on them.

"Hey, Johnny. You and Pony want to walk with me for a bit?" Dally asked as he got up from the table.

"Sure. Come on, Pony," Johnny said as he reached for his friend's hand to lead him out the door.

"Why not? There's nothin' else to do," Pony said, sounding miserable as he let Johnny lead him out the door. Johnny was doin' better and the doctor said he could walk a little as long as he didn't over do it. But he said that there was no hope that Pony would ever see again.

"Did Pony say anything to you?" Soda asked once they had left the house.

"He said that he wasn't any use to us anymore and something 'bout bad stuff always happening to greasers. I just don't get it. I thought Pony was adjusting fine, but I guess I was wrong," Darry said sounding frustrated.

"Don't worry, Darry. He'll be all right. He's just needs to get out more. You've been too protective since he got back anyway. Lighten up a bit already," I told him. Darry had always been real protective when it came to his brothers, but lately, he'd gotten worse.

"Yeah, I guess so. I'm just afraid I'm going to loose him. We almost lost him and Johnny in the fire, and I don't want to go through something like that again. We're all we've got and we have to stick it out, together," Darry said trying hard not to cry. Darry's always been the kind of guy that you'd never think knew even how to cry. Ever since the accident he's been all shook up. I don't know if it's shock or if Darry's finally lost it. When he first found out about the accident he was mad at the world, like nothing mattered at all. Now, he just breaks down and cries when somethin' gets to him. I don't think he can take much more.

"It's been a long day. Why don't you go ahead go on to bed?" Soda asked, genuinely

concerned about his brother.

"I'll be okay. I'm goin' to go take a shower. I'll be out in a minute," Darry said quietly getting up from the table and going into the bathroom.

"What's up with him?" Steve asked as he helped Soda put the dishes in the sink.

"Between work, hospital bills and dealin' with Socs, he's spent," Soda said as we all walked into the living room.

"What about Pony? He doesn't seem to be doin' too good," I said wonderin' if Soda knew what was up with him.

"I don't know. He barely eats anything and every time we try to get him to eat, he says he's not hungry. The doctor said he needs time getting used to not being able to see what he's eating. But I think there's more to it than that."

"What makes you say that?"

"I don't know. He's just not the same Ponyboy he used to be. He tries to act like he's okay with not being able to see, but you can tell he's not. He's mad at the world. I try to talk to him, but he keeps pushing me away."

"What about Johnny? You and Johnny have always been closer to Pony than anyone else," I said desperately wanting to know what was going on with him.

"I haven't had a chance to talk to him alone, since the accident. I don't know what to do. I just can't stand to see Pony like this. I feel like I've lost him."

"Don't say that. The kid's a little down, that's all. You need to give him more time to get over it. He's just a kid and the Socs don't make it any easier. You guys have been treating him like a toddler since he got back. Give him a break, let him do somethin' for himself for a bit," I said, seriously hoping that he'd take my advice.

"Since when did you get so wise?" Steve said to me mockingly.

"I don't know. Maybe since I quit hangin' with you," I said ducking the pillow that came flying at my face followed by a big crash.

"Oops, am I bad," Steve said as he saw the lamp laying on the floor next to the pillow.

"Nice one. Come on and help me pick it up, before Darry get's back in here," Soda said getting up from the couch and picking the lamp back up. He carefully placed it back on the table and walked toward the couch.

"Soda, let's have a little bit of fun," Steve said tossing the pillow at him. Soda caught it and placed it back on the couch. The door opened slowly and Dally, Johnny and Pony walked in.

"Hey Dal! You want to play some poker or somethin'?" I asked hopin' we could have some fun around here for once, but quickly noticed the look on Pony's face and felt guilty. Pony used to always play poker with us and he wasn't that bad either. But he can't play it with us anymore.

"You guys go on and play. I think I'll go ahead and turn in early," Pony said as he slowly made his way down the hall to his room.

"How was your walk?" Soda asked Dally curiously.

"Fine," Dally answered looking at us suspiciously.

"Johnny, has Pony ever said anything to you about the accident or anything?" Soda asked hoping that he could find out somethin'.

"Yeah. He said he was tired of the gang always acting different towards him than they used to, treating him like a little kid. He also seemed kind of worried 'bout the Socs. Why do you ask?"

"Just worried 'bout him. That's all."

"He'll be all right. He's just trying to deal with it the best way he knows how. He keeps all bottled up inside him and won't let it out. But he'll be all right. He's tough. He'll pull through."

"I hope you're right. I really hope you're right."

Pony's more to us than Darry and Soda's kid brother. He's part of the gang, he's our buddy. I know we all joke about being the youngest and a tag-a-long. But he's Ponyboy and I wouldn't have it any other way. I just want him to come back to us. To be the kid he used to and joke around with. I know nothing can ever really be the same, but just because he can't see doesn't mean his personality has to change. I once told him that we could along without anyone but Johnny. I was wrong. We can't get along without any of us. Especially Ponyboy.

_I know it took a long time to update but I got tons of papers due by next week. My next update might be a bit slow too, so bear with me. First off I want to thank 546656 for giving me a great idea for my story, but first I'm going to see if I can keep the story just about the gang without romance, but I will definently will consider it. Thanks to those who reviewed Chapter 13: Dreamer for lyf, micheif-maker, MyHubbyIsOB, and 546656_


	15. Contemplating Death

_**Contemplating Death**_

**Pony's POV**

Why me? It's not like my life wasn't hard enough already. Everything that I ever hoped for, is gone. What was I thinking? Dally was right. It wasn't worth it. Those kids didn't deserve to die, but I don't deserve to be blind either. I'm useless. The only thing I was ever good at was school and track. Now, I can't even do that. I just wish I had died in that fire, so that it could all be over. I wish none of this had ever happened.

"Pony? You all right?" I heard Johnny say as he walked into the room.

"Yeah," I said trying to convince, not only Johnny, but myself that I really was okay.

"You know Soda's really worried 'bout you. We're all worried 'bout you, Ponyboy. You can talk to me anytime. You should know that. I've always got your back and I know that you've always got mine. I'll be in the living room with the gang if you need me. We're here for you and we want you to know that," Johnny said before I heard him quietly slip out of the room.

You're wrong, Johnny. I haven't always been there for you like I should have. If wasn't for me, you wouldn't have gone into that church. You may not be on crutches anymore, but you could have been for life. How can you say that you're there for me when I wasn't there for you? What kind of a friend am I? If only there was someway that I could end it all. Get away from the pain and the guilt. There's nothing left to live for anymore. I can't seem to bring my self to eat anything, no matter how hungry I really am. It just seems that eating postpones all of it. I want it to be over with. I just want to die.

"Hey Pony. Time to finally get some shut eye," Soda said as he and Johnny entered our room to go to sleep for the night. I could hear Johnny settle in his sleeping bag and Soda climbin' into our bed.

"I'm sure glad you're okay, Pony. I don't think I could live without you," Soda said as he wrapped his arm around me and was soon off to sleep. How could he not see it? How could he not see that I had let them down? I'm not worth anything. Who in the world could be happy that I was okay? Only Sodapop would say something like that, and I knew he meant it. But before I could think on it any longer, my eyes began to feel heavy and I drifted off to sleep.

I woke in the morning to someone jumping on our bed. It couldn't be Soda, cause he was still half asleep lying next to me. And there was no way it could be Johnny, cause he just got off his crutches a few days ago. It had to be Two-Bit or Steve.

"Time to wake up you lazy bums!" I heard Two-Bit shout, still jumping on our bed.

"Why do you always have to come to wake us up?" Soda complained.

"Cause it seems that I'm the only one who can," Two-Bit said giving Soda a wacky grin.

"Where's Steve?"

"He already left to go to work. Darry told him that you're stayin' home today, like you should've yesterday."

"I need to get to work. How long ago did he leave?"

"You're not going anywhere. Darry asked me to babysit you, to make sure that you don't go to work."

"Two-Bit, you aren't actually going to listen to him, are you? I feel fine."

"Nope. You're stayin' home. Don't worry, you'll thank me later." Two-Bit said as Soda rolled his eyes at him.

"Well, at least give us a few minutes to get dressed," Soda said slowly getting out of the bed.

"Johnny, you want to help me cook up a few eggs or somethin'?"

"Sure. Somebody's got to supervise you," Johnny said as he and Two-Bit walked down the hall together.

"Did ya sleep well, Ponyboy?" Soda asked me.

"Yeah."

"Let's go get a bite to eat, before Two-Bit eats it all," Soda said to me once we had finished getting dressed.

"I'm not hungry."

"What do you mean you're not hungry. You haven't eaten for two days! Something's wrong, Pony. Tell me what's going on. I'm here for you and you should know that," Soda pleaded with me, as he sat beside me on the bed.

"There's no point in eating, Soda. It postpones everything! Don't you get it? I just want to die! I want to it to be over and get away from it all! I don't want to live like this anymore!" I shouted at him. And even though I couldn't see his face, I knew it was one of shock and disbelief.

"Why, Pony? Do you really think death will solve your problems? Did you even think about us? Did you think about what it would do to me, Pony? What it would do to the gang? Dally already blames himself enough for the accident, he wouldn't be able to handle your death. I know I couldn't. I'd kill myself before I would live without you! You may end your own problems, but you leave us to deal with them. Don't you understand how important you are to us? You're my little brother and I can't imagine life without you. Please, don't end your life. You're too young and you don't deserve to die. It's not you're time. I can't live without you. I just can't," Soda said between his sobs and tears.

"I don't think I can. I'm worthless! What good am I to you?"

"You're my brother and you help me get through each day. We need you Pony, we all do. Please, stay with us. We need you," Soda said trying to hold back another sob.

"I'll try, Soda. But I can't say that I'll make it," I said trying hard not to start crying myself.

"Please try. I love you, Pony and I want you to know that. I'm here for you, anytime you want to talk. I'm here for you," Soda said as he embraced me in a tight hug. I guess I can give life another go, so I can say I tried. For Soda's sake, I'll try.

_Okay, so a bit sad and a bit too dramatic for some of you. But I think I finally know where I'm going with this story. It also may be a bit rough in places so, try and deal with that. Hope everyone enjoys their spring break while you have the chance. Thanks to all who reviewed Chapter14: MyHubbyIsOB, kate, and Turner._


	16. Unpleasant Discoveries

_**Unpleasant Discoveries**_

**Dally's POV**

As I walked into the Curtis' living room, I was suprised that Pony was no where in sight. He still hangs out with us during the day like he always had before. He just doesn't talk as much as he used to.

"Where's Pony?"

"He and Soda are in the bedroom gettin' dressed. We woke them up about twenty minutes ago," Two-Bit answered me with a mouth full of food.

"Keep your mouth shut will ya? I'll go see what's takin' them so long," I said before walking down the hallway to the bedroom.

"I don't think I can. I'm worthless! What good am I to you?" I heard Pony yell at Soda before I had a chance to open the door. What was going on? I stood there at the door trying to listen to the rest of the conversation, so I could figure out what was going on.

"You're my brother and you help me get through each day. We need you Pony, we all do. Please, stay with us. We need you," I heard Soda plead with him. This was really bugging me. What were they talkin' about? Why was Pony so upset that Soda had to plead with him? Before I could think about it anymore I heard Pony starting to talk again.

"I'll try, Soda. But I can't say that I'll make it." Something's not right. Why would Pony say somethin' like that? But Soda's voice brought me back to the conversation once more.

"I love you, Pony and I want you to know that. I'm here for you, anytime you want to talk. I'm here for you." The room was quiet once again, except for the quiet sobs of Soda. I carefully opened the door to find Pony wrapped in one of Soda's big hugs. Neither of them heard me enter the room. Something was going on and I wanted to know what it was.

"Dally, when did you get here?" Soda asked as he and Pony turned to face me.

"A few minutes ago. Two-Bit asked me to see what was takin' ya'll so long. How long does it take you two to get dressed anyhow? Two-Bit said that he woke you up about twenty minutes ago," I said hoping that one of them would explain what was going on.

"We just got a bit side tracked. That's all," Pony said refusing to look me in the eye.

"Come on. Let's go get somethin' to eat," I said as we began to walk down the hall.

"Sure. What did Two-Bit cook anyway?" Soda asked as we walked into the living room to see Two-Bit stretched out on the floor eatin' something that resembled food and drinking a beer while watchin' T.V.

"It's a surprise. Take a bite and tell me what you think," Two-Bit said grinning at us.

"Well, I always said I liked surprises," Soda said walking over to into the kitchen and dipping out some kind of cassarole lookin' dish on to a plate. He took a bite of it followed by a huge gulp of water.

"What did you think of it?"

"Do you really have to ask? What's in this? Never mind I don't think I want to know," Soda said walking over to the trash can and dumping the remains of the dish into a trash can.

"Hey, you're wastin' my food. I would have eaten it," Two-Bit complained.

"Here take these," Soda said handing me some bowls, then going off to get a box of cereal, a carton of milk and handful of spoons.

"Hey Johnny! You want some cereal?" Soda shouted.

"Sure, it's better than eaten that stuff," Johnny said getting a dirty loook from Two-Bit.

"I see how it is, but that just leaves more for me to eat."

"Help yourself to that stuff, man. I don't even think a goat would even eat that stuff," I said looking at Two-Bit's latest breakfast creation in disgust.

"Dally, I'm not pourin' your cereal for you. Get over here and pour it yourself, you lazy bum," Soda said to me handing me the milk. I took it from him and poured myself a bowl of cereal and then passed the milk off to Johnny. After we all had finished eating Pony and Johnny decided to go for a walk around town. We made sure that they both had a blade before they left and told them to be back by four.

"Soda, what's going on? I heard your conversation with Pony this morning and I want to know what's going on," I said him once Pony and Johnny had both left.

"Pony wants to kill himself," Soda said so calmly that it scared me, even though I knew he wasn't calm about it inside.

"What? Why would he want to do that?" I yelled at Soda. I knew I shouldn't yell at him, but I couldn't control my anger. Why would Pony hate his life so much that he'd want to kill himself?

"I don't know. He said that he was useless and that he let us down," Soda said almost in tears.

"I can't believe we haven't noticed it before now," Two-Bit said in shock of what we had just found out.

"I can't either. He said that he couldn't bring himself to eat anymore cause it postpones death. I just can't believe that he would think something like that," Soda said with steady streams of tears rolling down his face.

"We got to make sure he doesn't do anything to himself. We got to go find him and Johnny now," I said hoping that he hadn't done something already.

"No, Dally. He promised me that he'd try. I have to trust as much as I want to check on him. They're should be back soon anyway."

"Fine, but if they're not back in a few minutes. I'm going to go look for them."

"Don't worry, Dal. They're coming up the driveway now," Two-Bit said as he walked away from the window and back towards the couch.

"Hey, guys. Did we miss anything?" Johnny as asked as he and Pony walked inside the house.

"Nothin' much," Two-Bit said glancing back at Soda.

"I'm going to go take a shower," Pony said as he walked to bathroom and and turned the shower on.

"You need some help with anything," I asked when I noticed he was going back to his room to get something.

"Yeah, can you help me find some clothes?" I heard Pony shout from his room. As I walked in his room I spotted a a t-shirt and a pair of supposedly clean jeans that he could wear. I handed him the clothes before walking out the door. A few minutes later he went into the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

"Johnny, did Pony say anything to you?" I asked him after I was sure that Pony couldn't hear us.

"Not really. What's going on?" Johnny asked sounding really worried.

"Pony told me that he wants to kill himself," Soda said quietly.

"When did he tell you this?" Johnny asked his eyes wide with fear for his friend.

"This morning after we finished getting dressed."

"I asked him if he was okay and he told me he was fine. Why would he lie to me like that?"

"Don't worry, kid. He's just going through a hard time right now. He needs a little time to adjust," Two-Bit said not very convincing.

"Soda, when are you going to tell Darry?" I asked curious about how the older Curtis brother would handle the news.

"I guess I should tell him when he gets home from work."

"Yeah, I'll hang around 'til he gets home."

"He said he'd try to get home early tonight so that he can check on Pony and me."

"The sooner the better."

"What about Steve? He needs to know," Two-Bit said glancing at the door to the bathroom where we could still hear the shower running.

"Whenever he comes over here, I'll tell him."

"Can we please change subjects? This is driving me crazy," I said not wanting to think about it anymore. A few minutes later Pony came out of the bathroom wearing the clothes I had given him earlier. I was glad that Pony couldn't see all the strange looks we were giving him. We sat in the living room all day playing cards and joking around, until Darry came home. Johnny quickly made up an excuse to get Pony to come into the bedroom with him, recieving a funny look from Darry.

"What's going on?" Darry asked totally confused, once Johnny and Pony had left the room.

"Darry, we need to talk," Soda said more serious than I had seen him my entire life.

_It took me forever to finish writing this. I still don't think I got it quite right. Try and ignore how perfect the timing seemed to be. I'll update when I get the chance. Thanks to those who reviewed Chapter 15: Lil Irish QT, MyHubbyIsOB, and goldengreaser. _


	17. Denying the Truth

_**Denying the Truth**_

**Soda's POV**

Right now, I didn't want to tell Darry about what I had found out about my little brother this morning. I wanted to forget about our conversation. Forget about what my brother had said to me. But I know that Darry needs to know about Pony. I just didn't want to be the one to tell him, but Pony and Darry are my brothers, so it was up to me to tell him.

"Darry, we need to talk," I said just wanting to get the conversation over with.

"What is it Soda? What's going on?" Darry asked giving me a worried look.

"This morning when me and Pony were getting ready, we had a long conversation. Darry, he wants to kill himself," I said trying hard not to start crying in front of the gang again.

"What do you mean he wants to kill himself? He's fine."

"No, he's not, Darry. He told us about this himself. Do you really think I would say something like that if I didn't know for sure if it was true? I know it's hard to think that he'd do something like that, but we need to help him."

"The doctor said that he still needs some time to adjust. It hasn't been long enough yet. Give him some more time."

"If we wait any longer he won't be here anymore! What's wrong with you? Our little brother wants to kill himself and all you can say is that he needs more time to adjust! I know you don't want to believe it, but for Pony's sake you have to. If you keep denying this, then it will be too late to help him. He needs us now, Darry! Don't you get it?" I yelled at him.

"Yeah, I do. You expect me to believe that our little brother would kill himself if we don't try and help him. Where in the world did you get an idea like that?" Darry said looking at me like I was the dumbest thing on earth.

"He's our brother, Darry. We're suppose to help him with stuff like this. Why can't you accept it?" I pleaded with him, but before he could reply we all turned around to the sound of someone outside the house. Dally slowly got up pulling the heater from his pocket as he walked towards the door and opened it.

"Oh, my God!" he said as he started to run out the door.

"Dally, what is it?" Two-Bit hollered after him as he too walked towards the door.

"It's Steve. He's been jumped!"

"How bad is he?" I asked Dally, as me and Darry quickly followed Two-Bit out the door. This can't be happening. It's too much right now. My little brother wants to kill himself and my best friend's been jumped. It's too much.

"Help me get him in the house. He's not lookin' too good," Dally said as he and Two-Bit gently began to help Steve to his feet. He was concious, but just barely. Johnny and Pony were in the living room by the time we managed to get Steve into the house and settled on the couch.

"What happened?" Johnny asked Steve anxiously as I began to dab at Steve's various cuts.

"I had just gotten off my shift and was on my way here, when some Socs came up from behind. I didn't see them and when I did there was no way out. There was five of them, Soda. The same five that were here the other night. I'm sure of it," he said as he began to sit up.

"Don't sit up, yet. You need to take it easy for a bit," I said gently pushing Steve back onto the couch.

"Where does it hurt the most?" Darry asked as he walked over to us to see how bad Steve was hurt.

"Where doesn't it hurt?" Steve replied jokingly, but apparently not feeling too good.

"They got ya pretty good. You'll be feelin' it for awhile. How bad are your ribs?"

"Pretty bad. I think I might have broken a few or at least cracked them. It feels like there's a ton of bricks sitting on my chest."

"Two-Bit, I need you to go look in one of the closets and find an old shirt or somethin'. We need to bind his ribs so that he doesn't hurt himself by moving around too much."

"Sure," Two-Bit said as he quickly headed down the hall.

"Soda, help me sit him up so that we can wrap his ribs," Darry told me as Two-Bit came back carrying one of our old shirts. He handed the shirt to Dally, who cut it into long strips with his blade before handing the strips to Darry. It didn't take long for us to tightly wrap the strips around Steve's ribs, but we could have finished quicker if Steve had actually cooperated with us. By the time we had finished it was getting late and my conversation with Darry about Pony had yet to be brought up again.

"If you don't mind, I think I'll crash here for the night. It's too late to be headin' back to Buck's place," Dally said glancing nervously over his shoulder at my little brother.

"You should know by now, that you're welcome to stay here anytime. Steve, you not goin' home tonight are ya?" Darry asked him.

"No, I think I'll stay right we're I'm at. The last thing I need tonight is my old man pushin' me around."

"Well, I'll catch ya'll in the morning. I need to be gettin' home anyway. But don't you go and get yourself into anymore trouble 'til I get back at least," Two-Bit said sarcastically to Steve before he walked out the door and started home.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm ready to get some sleep," Darry said as slowly walked toward his room to go to bed. We soon followed his example and went to our own beds to turn in for the night. But I couldn't sleep I just kept thinking about how Darry kept denying that Pony really did need our help. I just don't understand why he won't believe me. He has always believed me before, but now he just won't listen. I can't help but think that if he doesn't listen we'll all pay the price.

_I'm amazed if you're still reading this. Once again I'm sorry about taking so long to write this chapter, but my conclusion to it took a long time to get right and it still isn't that good. I hope you like this one and thanks to all who reviewed Chapter 16: MyHubbyIsOB, michief-maker, Lil Irish QT, and virgil-t-stone._


	18. Never Giving Up On You

_**Never Giving Up On You**_

**Johnny's POV**

As I woke up the next morning, the events from last night were still on my mind. We had tried to tell Darry about Pony the best way we knew how, but he refused to believe a single word of it. Then when Steve came in like he was, the subject had been completely forgotten. I just hope that Darry will be able to realize how much Pony needs him. I still can't believe that Pony lied to me. We've always told each other stuff, no matter how bad it was. But lately when I've been asking him if he's okay he keeps telling me that he's fine, even though he really isn't. I thought that if anything was bothering him, he'd come and talk to me about it. But I was wrong.

"Hey Johnny, how long have you been up?" whispered Two-Bit as he quietly came into the room.

"Not long. I just woke up. What are doing anyway?" I asked as I saw him carefully approach the bed where Pony and Soda were sound asleep.

"Darry told me to wake them up. He wants Soda to go back to work today. Now, get on the other side of the bed and on the count of five we'll jump on them and scream as loud as we can," Two-Bit whispered softly to me.

"You're on your own for this one and you ain't hidin' behind me when Soda comes after you."

"Suit yourself, it's only more fun for me," Two-Bit said quietly before he slowly began to count down. On the count of five he jumped on their bed, screamin' at the top of his lungs. Soda was so startled by the "wake up call" he had recieved from Two-Bit, that he ended up on the floor and Pony sat up lookin' scared to death like he had when he got jumped a while back. Once Two-Bit managed to get his laughter under control, he looked up to see Pony shaking with fear and his face going white.

"It's okay, Pony. It's just me. I'm . . . I 'm sorry, I forgot," Two-Bit stuttered apologetically.

"It's all right. I know you didn't mean to," Pony said quietly as he got out the bed.

"Here Pony, let me help you," Soda said grabbing his arm and attempting leading him over to the pile of clothes he had laid out for him the night before.

"I don't need your help!" he yelled, violently pushing Soda away. Startled by his brother's actions, Soda quickly took a step back. But as he did, he tripped over a pair of shoes lying in the floor, slamming his head into a small table that served as their dresser. Me and Two-Bit went over him to see if he was okay. He had blood trickling down his face and was out cold.

"Darry! Dally! Steve! Get in here!" Two-Bit yelled anxiously. Dally came in the room first, followed by Darry and Steve.

"What happened?" Dally asked looking at us worriedly.

"Pony pushed Soda and he hit his head on the table," I said with voice shaking. They slowly looked down at our feet where Soda lay crumpled up in a heap. Together we managed to lift Soda on to the bed and tried to bring him out of it.

"Soda, come on buddy. It's time to wake up. Come on, Soda," Darry said shaking him gently recieving only a concious groan.

"That's it Soda, open your eyes," Dally said encouragingly.

"What happened?" Soda asked groggily.

"Pony pushed you and you hit your head on the table."

"Where is he?" Soda asked looking at Dally questioningly.

"I'm right here," Pony said slowly standing up, groping for the bed. I went over to him and grabbed his arm to lead him to where Soda lay on the bed.

"Are you okay Pony?" Soda asked him worriedly.

"I didn't mean to hurt you. I just want to do stuff for myself. I'm sick of having to depend on everyone for everything. I'm sorry Soda. I didn't know you were that close to the table."

"It's okay. I know you didn't mean to. You couldn't have possibly seen that the table was there. I'm fine. I just hit my head a bit hard."

"Yeah, but it could have been worse. I could have killed you! Don't you understand?" he shouted us.

"Pony, how do you expect us to understand if you won't tell us what's wrong?" I asked, frustrated that he hadn't told me about what he really felt about the accident.

"I don't know. One minute I want to tell you how I really feel, so that you can help me. But then I feel that if I tell you, you'll treat me like a little kid, afraid that I'll hurt myself or something."

"We're sorry if we made you feel that way, but we never meant to. We were just trying to protect you," Soda said quietly.

"Protect me from what? From getting hurt again? I can take care of myself!" Pony yelled at us before leaving the room as fast as he could without running into to something. I don't know what I was thinking, but something made me run after him.

"Pony! Wait! I need to talk to you!" I shouted as I ran after him. He had made it well down the street before I caught up to him.

"Why did you come after me? Are you afraid I'll get hurt or somethin'?" he asked mockingly.

"No, I came to see if my friend was all right. Pony, what is with you? Why can't you understand that we care?"

"I don't know, Johnny. But when all you hear is someone's voice telling you that they care and you can't look them in the eye to see if they really mean it or not. I want to believe it so much, but I'm afraid that if I do, it'll only be false hope."

"Pony, you use to trust us before. Why can't you trust us now? We'll never give up on you, Pony. Just cause you can't see us doesn't mean you can't trust us. It hurts to know my best buddy didn't trust me enough tell me how he really felt," I said hoping he would understand where I was coming from.

"Soda told you?"

"Yes, he told us 'cause he was concerned about you. He doesn't want to lose you and I don't either," I said trying to keep my voice under control.

"Soda didn't lie to me. You guys really do care."

"I don't know why you thought we didn't. We always have, Pony."

"I believe you. Can you help me get back? I want to give it another go."

"Yeah, I'll help you. We'll start over together," I said and slowly began to lead him toward the Curtis' house when a blue Mustang pulled up beside us. It was the Socs who had jumped the gang at the house.

"What do we got here?" one of the Socs asked as he got out of the car.

"Pony, we got to run. It's the Socs from the other night. We got to get to the house," I whispered in his ear. Pony looked at me, fear etched in his face. I grabbed him by the arm and we ran as fast as we could, but it was no use.

_Sorry about the LONG update. Too many things going on for me to update. Next update should be a lot quicker. I know this is a crummy chapter considering the long wait, but I had a bad writer's block. Thanks to those who reviewed Chapter 17: MyHubbyIsOB, virgil-t-stone, merryw, and xBxMYxJaMeSxDeANxcandyclouds._


	19. Wishing For The Impossible

_**Wishing For The Impossible**_

**Steve's POV**

I watched as Pony and Johnny ran out of the house. Soda was clearly upset and muttering something that I couldn't understand, while the rest of us stood there in shock, too afraid to move. I just can't seem to understand why the kid wasn't happy to have people actually care about him and want to protect him. Sometimes I wish my old man would care about me the way Pony's brothers care about him. I know they consider me part their family, but it isn't the same. When I was younger I would purposefully get into trouble or in a fight to see if he actually cared 'bout me, but he never did.

"We should go after them. Something's not right," Dally said being the first to break the silence. I could see the worry in his face and it scared me. Dal's not afraid of anything.

"I don't know, Dal. He clearly doesn't want our help. It'll just make it all worse, besides Johnny's with him," Two-Bit said quietly.

"It might make it worse, but it's better than not doing anything if something really is wrong."

"Do you think the Socs jumped 'em?" Soda asked jumping out of bed as fast as his spinning head would let him.

"I don't know, but I'm going after them."

"Not without us. We stick together no matter what. I got your back," Soda said grabbing his shirt off the bedpost and pulling it on.

"Soda, you can't go out like this. You hit your head hard and I can't let you go. If the Socs are there you won't stand a chance. We've already lost so much and I don't want to lose you too." Darry said staring at Soda with his tear filled eyes. He's finally accepted the truth. He finally believes what we told him, but it might be too late.

"I can take care of myself, Darry. But right now, Pony needs me and I'm going," Soda said as he strolled out of the room Dally not far behind him.

"We need to help 'em. If they run into some Socs they won't stand a chance. Not to mention that someone needs to lookout for them," I said trying to convince the rest of them that we should go after them. It didn't take them long to decide and we soon caught up with Soda and Dally. As we anxiously continued down the street, Pony and Johnny came into view surrounded by a group of Socs. What we had been so afraid of, was coming true.

"Pony! Johnny!" Soda yelled, still running toward them. The Socs turned towards us, leaving Pony and Johnny writhing on the ground where they left him. Two of them grabbed Soda and forcefully pinned him to the ground. No matter how hard we tried, there was no way we could get to any of them. Darry and the Socs' leader were going at it, as well as the rest of us. We're outnumbered and fading fast.

"Darry! Steve!" Soda yelled at us as loud as he could only to get another fist jammed into his stomache. His eyes were filled with pain and the way he's lookin', he won't last much longer. I turn back to my Soc to see him wavering on his feet and know this is as good a time as any to finish him off and give Soda a hand. I hit him as hard as I can in the head, knocking him straight off his feet and start to run towards Soda. He still had two Socs on him and was doing all he could to get them off, but he was hurt too bad. I grabbed the nearest Soc by his shirt and swung him as hard as I could to the ground. The other Soc quickly released Soda from his grip and turned to face me. I was able to lay in a few good punches before the other Soc collected himself from the ground and soon joined our fight. Even though I know we didn't really fight that long, it seemed like forever. In the end they took off in their fancy cars and drove away, leaving us to survey the damage they had done. I quickly ran over to Soda and helped him walk over to Pony and Johnny. He was limping bad and I had to support most of his weight. Johnny was cowerin' at every slight movement we made around him, while Pony on the other hand had a bewildered look on his face and was crying uncontrollably. Soda was the only one of them that was in a decent mental state, but physically his body had met it's limit.

"We need to get them to the house. Steve. Two-Bit. I want you to help Soda, Dally and I can get Pony and Johnny," Darry said rubbing his hand where one of the Socs had bit him.

"I don't need help, I'm fine. Let them help you with Pony and Johnny," Soda argued, pulling away from me only to have his legs give out on him and land hard on the ground. I know Soda didn't want to admit that he was hurt, so I waited for him to gather himself up from the ground on his own before we continued towards the Curtis' house. When we got inside I helped Soda onto the couch and then followed the gang to see if they needed help with Pony and Johnny. We took to their bedroom and put them both on the bed, before going back to the living room with Soda while Darry tried to calm them down. He gave them both some medicine and made sure they were asleep, before he joined us back in the living room.

"Are they okay? Are they goin' to be all right?" Soda started asking, his eyes lit up in concern.

"Yes, they'll be fine in a few days or so," Darry said not taking his eyes off the floor.

"What's wrong then?" he asked his brother, wondering if he wasn't getting the whole truth.

"I should have believed you and I didn't. I didn't want to believe that our brother would do something like that, but after what happened this morning, I know you were right and I can't help but think that if I done something about it, this wouldn't have happened. If I had talked to him like a real brother is suppose to, that this wouldn't have happened. That you, Pony, and Johnny wouldn't have been hurt if I had only listened, but I didn't," Darry said looking Soda in the eye with tears pouring down his face.

"Darry, I know you didn't mean to and so do they. You would never intentionally hurt us. There was no way you could've known that, that would happen."

"No, I didn't, but I still could have stopped it. They could've been killed! You could've been killed!"

"But I wasn't. You did the best you could to help me, but you couldn't and I knew that. They know that if you had known what was going on, you would've been there, but you didn't know. None of us knew, don't you understand that it wasn't your fault. When Mom and Dad died, do remember how I kept blaming myself, but you kept telling me that it wasn't my fault. Now it's time take your own advise. It wasn't your fault Darry, it wasn't anyone's fault."

"I know, but it seems that everything that has happen lately, I could've stopped. If I had never hit Pony they wouldn't have killed that Soc and everything would be fine. But I did and I made it even worse by not wanting to believe you. Look what happened," Darry said motioning to the bedroom where Pony and Johnny were sleeping.

"All right. If he wants to blame himself for everything then let him, but he's giving himself way to much credit because we all had a part in this, even if we don't want to admit it," Dally said, angry that the two of them wouldn't stop bickering.

"Come on, guys. It's gettin' late and we do need some sleep. See ya in morning," Two-Bit said slowly picking himself off the floor and starting on his way home. Once he had left, the room became filled with silence, but you could still feel the tension. We soon took Two-Bit's advice and decided to get some sleep before morning came. Dally began to head over to Buck's place and I headed on home, but the thoughts were still racing across my mind. They really could've been killed. Some many things had changed in the last two weeks, but it had all been for the worst, and I couldn't help but wonder when our luck was going to change. It was like wishing for the impossible.

_My updates are getting better, however not perfect, but as I said before it's hard to get into Steve's head. I should be wrappin' it up within the next three chapters. Hopefully it will be a quicker update, but the further you get in a story the harder it is to write. If any of you have ideas let me know. Thanks to those who reviewed Chapter 18: MyHubbyIsOB, xBxMyXJaMeSxDeANxcandyclouds, Gracie, Hahukum Konn, krista, Jessie13, Just Playin, and Snow White'84._


	20. A New Direction of Fate

_**A New Direction of Fate**_

**Darry's POV**

No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't fall asleep. So many things had happened in the last few weeks that I never dreamed could happen. None of us ever thought it was possible for Johnny to kill a Soc or for Pony to become blinded in a fire. When Mom and Dad died, we thought our lives couldn't get any worse, but they did. Johnny and Pony had to run away for murderin' that Soc, then they got caught in that fire tryin' to rescue those kids. Now Pony's blinded for the rest of his life and there's nothing we can do for him. Not only that, but Soda tried to tell me that Pony wanted to kill himself, but I couldn't believe that my little brother could think such things and because I denied it, we all paid the price. I let him and Johnny run out of here and now they're both hurt, along with Soda, all because I wouldn't listen. Now, I have to face the consequances.

"Soda! Darry!" I heared Pony yell, followed by a shrilling scream. I quickly jumped out of bed to see what was wrong. As I made my way to his room I could see Soda slowly rising off the couch, hurrying to get to Pony. Johnny was sitting on the bed when I walked in, trying to quiet Pony's screaming, but couldn't seem to wake him. Pony was having another nightmare. I placed my hand on his shoulder and gently tried to shake him awake. Soda was soon at my side, talking to him softly. His screaming soon died down into a faint murmur and he finally woke up.

"It's okay, Pony. It was just another nightmare. You want to tell us what it was about?" Soda asked in a soothing voice, putting his arm around his younger brother.

"The fire. It was about the fire and the night we killed Bob Sheldon," Pony said softly, looking Johnny straight in the eye, tears beginning to well up in his eyes.

"Oh Pony, it's all going to be okay. We're here now and we won't let anything like this happen again," Soda said embracing our brother in a gentle hug.

"Yeah, I hope your right, Soda. You guys might as well go back to bed. I'm sorry, I woke everyone."

"Don't worry 'bout it. I've got enough sleep to last a lifetime," Soda said jokingly.

"You sure, you're all right?" I asked, worried about how frequant his nightmares had become.

"I'm fine, you can go back to bed. I'll be all right, really," Pony said reassuringly.

"Okay. I'll see you in the morning, kiddo," Soda said limping his way out of the room and back to his spot on the couch. Johnny crawled back in the bed beside Pony and I went back into my own room. As soon as I layed down, my eyelids felt heavy and I fell asleep, all my worries disappearing.

When I woke up the next morning, I could hear the gang talking in the living room. I sat up slowly, trying to convince myself that I really did need to get out of bed. I finally managed to get up and throw on a change of clothes. I walked into the living room to find everyone gathered in front of the T.V. eatin' and talkin' away. Dally was the only one not here, but in a way I was happy he wasn't. One thing you got to know about Dally is that he is definitely not a morning person.

"Hey Darry, what took you so long?" Two-Bit asked, looking at me curiously.

"I bet you, he was dreamin' 'bout them girls again," Steve chimed in, before I could manage a reply.

"And you better watch your mouth or you might not like the outcome."

"Loosen up, man. I was just kiddin' you," Steve said standing up and argueing defensivly.

"Will both of you just sit down and see how long all of us can go without fightin' for once," Soda said annoyed at us both.

"Take it easy, Soda. You know I could never really hurt him," I said walking over to Steve and putting my arm around him, jokingly.

"Then would you mind telling me who really busted my jaw?" Steve asked sarcasticly.

"Hey, if it wasn't for that big mouth of yours, I wouldn't have had to break it."

"Very funny, Darry. Very funny."

"Anyway, what's for breakfast? I'm starved."

"There's some more pancakes and eggs on a plate, layin' on the counter," Two-Bit said stuffing another bite of his own food into his mouth. As I walked into the kitchen, I saw the food layin' right where Two-Bit said it was and dished some out onto another plate. But before I could make my way back into the living room, Dally came through the front door.

"Hey Dal, we thought you'd never get here," I heard Two-Bit say as I returned to the living room.

"You save me somethin' to eat?" Dally asked walkin' over to the corner of the kitchen lookin' for somethin' to eat.

"Yeah, I saved you some. Help yourself to what's on that plate in there," I said sitting down on the couch next to Soda and Pony.

" Can one of you help me get some clothes layed out? I need to take a shower," Pony said slowly getting up off the couch.

"I'll help you. Anything particular you want to wear?" Two-Bit asked walking over to Pony and guiding pass the stuff that scattered all over the floor.

"No, I don't care, just pick something."

"Okay," Two-Bit said leading Pony to the bathroom and collecting a change of clothes for him to put on. As soon as Two-Bit had given Pony the clothes, he turned on the water for him and left Pony to take his shower. Dally soon returned from the kitchen with a plate full of food and sat down on the couch where Pony had been sitting.

"So how's the kid?" Dally asked, studying our faces.

"He had another nightmare, last night," Soda said in a quiet voice.

"Did he say what it was about, this time?" Dally asked, worry etched in his face.

"About that Soc and the fire. He was real shook up, Dal, real shook up," Johnny said looking down at the floor.

"Soda, we need to talk. Pony needs help, more help than we can give him. We need to either take him to a doctor or send him to a group home. I hate to say it, but I'm not going to take the chance to lose him again," I said, my thoughts from the night before, fresh in my mind. However, Soda was no longer paying attention and was staring straight past me at something else. I turned my head to see what he was looking at only to see Pony staring back at me, he had heard everything I said.

"Pony, I . . . I didn't mean . . . ," I stuttered, not knowing quite what to say, but before I could explain, Pony ran to his room, slamming the door behind him. Just when I thought our fate had changed for the better, it instead changed for the worse.

_This chapter is a bit rough in places, so take it easy on me. My computer's messed up so that's why this updates been so long. Also there's been a slight change in my story plot thanks to Jorjor for the idea. Thanks to those who reviewed Chapter 19: virgil-t-stone, goldengreaser, Jorjor, and Latinagal._


	21. Living A Nightmare

_**Living A Nightmare**_

**Two-Bit's POV**

The slam of Pony's bedroom door, resounded through the house. We all know Darry didn't mean to hurt Pony like that. He was only trying to get him help, which he needs a lot of whether he wants to admit it or not. He's been through more than anyone should ever have to go through. Darry and Soda are trying to help him the best that they can, but it's just not enough.

"I'll go talk to him," Darry said slowly beginning to walk toward the closed bedroom door.

"Darry, wait. Let's all talk to him together," I said, knowing that Darry was probably the last person, Pony wanted to see right now.

"Two-Bit's right, Pony seemed really mad and it might be better if we all talked to him together. We're just as much his family as you are, minus the whole blood tie thing," Dally said grinning from ear to ear, but something in his eyes told me he was more worried than he was letting on.

"Okay," said Darry quietly. We slowly got up and followed him to Pony's room where the door still remained shut. Soda and Darry knocked on it softly, hoping Pony would open it for them, but there was no answer.

"Pony, you know Darry didn't mean it like that. We're just worried 'bout you and we don't know how to help anymore," Soda said more like whimpering then talking.

"Come on, kid. At least give us a chance to explain," Dally tried to reason, but recieved just as much response as the rest of us.

"Pony, can we please come in? We really need to talk about this," I said trying to get some sort of response from him.

"Go away! I don't have anything to say to any of you!" Pony yelled, the anger in his voice not going undetected.

"Pony, please! If not for them, at least for me. I've told you things I haven't told anyone else. At least talk to me, Pony. I need you, just as much as you need me," Johnny begged, staring at the door, which still remained unopened.

"I ain't goin' to take this anymore. That kid is nothin' but a stuck up little brat with everyone listin' to his every word. I'm sorry that the kid's blind, but he needs grow up and get over it," Steve said and turned to leave, but Darry grabbed him by his shirt before he could make it out the door.

"I suggest you never show your face around here again," Darry said grabbing the front of Steve's shirt with both hands and slamming him against the wall, and letting him fall to the ground in a crumpled heap. Steve slowly picked himself up off the ground and turned to go, but seeing Soda entering the room, he stopped.

"Look Soda, I'm sorry 'bout what I said, but your brother's ruining your life. I was only trying to help you."

"Get out. If you really wanted to help, you would've kept quiet, so now do us all a favor and get out," Soda said in a cold, harsh voice and not wanting cause anymore trouble, Steve walked out of the house, without even looking back.

"Has he said anything else?" Soda asked as he and Darry walked back to where the rest of us were standing.

"No, but I think we should just let ourselves in. Something's not right, I can feel it," Dally said, his worry finally showing through.

"You're probably right, but what if he locked it?" I asked wondering where we would be if he had locked it.

"Well, you don't know 'til you try," Dally said turning the doorknob slowly. It was unlocked. As he gently pushed the door open, the gang gasped in horror at the sight that layed before them. Pony lay on his bed with tears endlessly falling down his face. Blood was flowing freely from his left arm and he held a bloody knife tight in his other hand.

"Oh no, Pony, " Soda muttered under his breath and quickly went to his brother's side.

"I'm sorry, Soda. I just couldn't take it anymore," Pony whispered to his brother softly.

"Don't . . . don't say that. It'll be okay. We'll take you to a doctor and you'll be fine," Soda said taking hold of his brother's hand and holding it tight. We each slowly approached Pony's bed, still shocked about the scene playing out in front of us. We all knew Pony needed help, but we never thought it would come to this. Pony had actually tried to kill himself and by the amount of blood he was losing, it looked like he might actually succeed.

"Soda, we need to stop the bleeding. Tie this 'round his arm, I'm goin' to start the truck up," Darry said picking up one of Pony's shirts and ripping it into strips, before handing it to Soda and walking out the door. Soda looked at the strips thoughtfully, but couldn't bring himself to let go of his brother's hand.

"Here, I'll tie it for you," I said taking the strips from Soda and tying them tightly around Pony's left arm. Soda was crying and continuing to hold his brother's hand, as if that was the only thing that was keeping him here. Dally was still sitting at the foot of the bed, tears rolling down his face and muttering curses under his breath. Johnny was sitting on the opposite side of Soda, crying hysterically, saying over and over again that it was all his fault. Then there was me, standing there crying, not knowing what to do. It was like living a nightmare, that you can't seem to get out of no matter how hard you tried, cause it was real.

"Let's go! Someone help me get him in the truck!" Darry yelled at us as he walked down the hallway. He carefully picked Pony up and Soda walked beside him, still refusing to let go of Pony's hand. Dally and Johnny caught all the doors and I made sure that we didn't run his arm into anything. Me, Soda, and Johnny piled into the back of the truck, so that Darry could pass Pony over to Soda, before hopping into the front. We quickly were on our way, driving as if we were in a drag race. Pony was lookin' worse by the minute and blood was beginning to come through the make shift bandages and our world seemed to stop when Soda's voice confirmed what we feared would happen.

"Darry, he's not breathing! Darry!"

_Not as good as other chapters, but updates are getting harder and harder to write. Next chapter should be the last one and hopefully it'll be better than this one. Also I want to let everyone know I'm not trying to copy anyone elses suicidal Pony stories with this chapter, I'm trying to keep this story as original as possible. If any of you know how I can get Steve back into the next scene I'd appriciate the help. Thanks to those who reviewed Chapter 20: Jorjor, lizhowHP, Snow White'84, Hahukum Konn, virgil-t-stone, and forgottenletters._


	22. No Matter What

_**No Matter What**_

**Pony's POV**

The events from the night before are still a bit hazey in my mind. I remember coming out of the bathroom after taking my shower, only to hear Darry say that I either needed to see a doctor or needed to go to a group home or something. It shocked me to hear him say that, it was like everyone was giving up on me. I didn't know what to say or what to do, all I knew was that I wanted to get out of there fast, so I ran to my room. I sat on my bed trying to figure out what I should do, only to think of the blade that I had kept in my room, since Johnny gave it to me the night that the Socs came to the house. I pulled the knife out from under the mattress of the bed and slowly flipped the blade out. I held it up against my arm and I remember feeling the cold metal against my skin. I pressed the edge of the blade down hard and began to drag it, across my arm. I immeadatly felt the blood coming out of the cut, I had made and felt it as it dripped onto the bed sheets beneathe me. For awhile, I just sat there thinking about my life before the fire and about how everything had changed. I don't know exactly how long I layed there, but it seemed like hours had passed. My head was spinning non-stop and I was beginning to feel extremely cold, like someone dumped a bucket of ice water on my head. I vaguely remember the gang coming in the room and Soda's voice whispering something to me softly. Then someone carefully picked me up and carried me into the truck and I remember it becoming harder and harder to breathe. That's all I remember. The next time I woke up, I was in a quiet room with multiple IVs and wires coming out of one arm and a thick bandage on the other. It took me awhile to figure out where I was, but when the doctor finally entered the room, it all came together.

"Welcome back, Ponyboy. You had us worried there for awhile," he said cheerfully before telling me about my condition. He told me that I had lost a lot of blood and that I wasn't breathing when I was brought in.

"Your lucky to have friends and family that care about you like they do. That brother of yours, Sodapop had to be physically removed from your side and sedated because he was so upset. The rest of them stayed in the room we put him in and refused to leave."

"Are they okay?"

"They're fine, just worried 'bout you. If you think you're up to it, I can send 'em down."

"Could you? I have a lot of things right now, that I need to set right," I said still trying to make some since about why I did what I did.

"Sure, no problem," he said before walking out of the room. It wasn't long after that when I heard the door to the room open followed by several footsteps.

"Pony?" Soda asked, his voice shaking.

"Soda, I'm . . . I'm so sorry. I never meant to . . . I don't know what I was thinking," I said trying hard to keep myself from crying.

"It's okay, baby. It's all over, we're here now," he said as he slowly approached the side of my bed.

"You had us real worried there for awhile kid. Soda was so hysterical they had to give him a shot. Shoot, even Steve was upset. He got in a fight with Darry and Soda about you before we found you, but when he saw us racin' down the road with you, he ran all the way to the hospital to see if you were okay. We were all real worried 'bout you, every single one of us," Two-Bit said attempting to steady his voice.

"You know Darry didn't mean what he said like that, Pony. He was only trying to get you some help, before something like this happened," Johnny added quietly, hoping that I'd understand what Darry was really trying to say last night. Then there was an awkward silence followed by Darry's wavering voice asking the question I had feared the most.

"Pony, why did you do it? Why would you try and kill yourself?"

I didn't know where to begin. I mean, how do you tell your older brother what you were really thinking at the darkest and lowest moment in your life. Do I tell him it was because I didn't think they cared anymore, so it just wouldn't matter or do I just avoid the question altogether and claim that really don't know, I just did it.

"Darry, I don't think the kid's ready to answer that question, yet. Give him some more time," Dally voice said calmly, breaking my train of thought once more.

"No it's okay. It needs to be said sooner or later anyway. I did it because I . . . I thought you wouldn't care if I killed myself or not. I thought that you'd all given up on me and there wasn't any real reason to go on anymore," I said slowly hoping they would take the truth calmy without making a big deal about it all.

"Pony, we would never . . . never stop caring about you. Yeah, you tick us off sometimes, but we still love you, kid. Now listen to me, it doesn't matter what you say or what you do we will always love you. Always."

Darry's words hit home. I guess in truth, I had already known what he said was true, but I had to figure it out for myself. My mind began to run with all kinds of memories, but when Soda took a strong hold on my hand and began to talk, I snapped out of it.

"You know what Darry said goes for me too, Pony. It goes for all of us and when I told you that I couldn't live without you, I wasn't lying."

"I know and I don't think I'll ever forget it."

"Well, let's hope not. We don't need another scare like this," Two-Bit said trying to crack a joke, but not being very successful.

"Doc said you might be able come home in a few days," Darry said changing the subject once again.

"Great! The faster I get out of here the better."

"Now you just take it easy for a bit first. They won't let you out of here if you ain't healed up yet," Darry chided me.

"Don't worry, it's not like there's a lot to do around here. This place is out of it," I said, happy for the first time in what seemed like forever. The gang stuck around for awhile longer, but the nurse made them leave once the visting hours had ended. For the next few days the gang drifted in little by little to see me. The Doctor said that I could go home today and I was really looking forward to getting back home. Darry and Soda came to pick me up about two. They soon filled out the paper work, and we were on our way home.

"You know that the doctor made us promise that you would attend some sessions with a pyschologist or they'll arrange a meeting with the state," Darry said slowly after we had been down the road awhile.

"Why? I know what I did was wrong, but it's not like I'm going to do it again. I'm not insane!"

"Pony, we know you're not, but we have to do what the doctor said. We don't need the state breathin' down our backs. You only have to go to a few, that's it Pony. That's it," Soda said putting his arm around me and ruffling up my hair with his hand.

"Okay, I'll go, but only for a few. All right?"

"Yeah, only a few," Soda promised to me in a low voice as we pulled in front of the house. As I got out of the truck Soda and Darry each grabbed my hands and tried to lead me to the door, but I pulled away.

"Please, let me try and do it myself. I can do it," I said quietly, hoping they would understand.

"Okay, if you want to, but we're right here if you need us," Darry said understandingly. I whispered a small thanks, and began to grope my way to the house. I slowly made my way up the walk and opened the door. I was finally home and no matter what happened I would always be able to come back. To my home, my friends and my family. No matter what.

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_So what do you think? Good ending, bad ending? I know it doesn't really sound like the end of it, but it is. Should I revise it or leave it? Let me know, majority rules. And once again I want to apologies for the long delay. Hope everyone enjoyed the story and I hope to write another soon. Thanks to those who reviewed Chapter 21: goldengreaser, HahukumKonn, EmilytheStrange, Lil Irish QT, victoria livingston, forgottenletters, virgil-t-stone, Mickie, Jorjor, Swiffer, ALEXSCOTT411, ravenangel33, breanna, crazieness2010, GlorysGirl4ever, lady rose 05, Mi Ana I Numen, and pony's girl._


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